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The Men's Center of Los Angeles
Beverly Hills/Woodland Hills
in Association with
Sacred Path Productions
Newsletter for April 2006
Voicemail: (818) 348-9302
Web Site: www.menscenterlosangeles.com
Contact: info@menscenterlosangeles.com
Our Mission:
"Bringing good men together and bringing out the best in
them"
Our Approach:
Helping develop a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment for
men by fostering vision, passion, authenticity and intimate connection
to self and others
Our Services:
Psychotherapy for individuals, families, and groups, as well as
our Sacred Path and Call to Adventure Retreats,
Workshops, Seminars, and Monthly Men's Gatherings
SPRING RETREAT APRIL 20-23!
Volunteers
Needed for Building and Dismantling Container
IN THIS ISSUE:
A Message from the Director
Upcoming Events - Mark Your Calendar
- Ed Munter: Soul Journey April 29
- Sacred Ways Events
- Spring Retreat and Call to Adventure - April 20-23, 2006
- Ongoing Men's Groups
Volunteers Needed for Building and dismantling the Container
Stephen Johnson: Who Will Initiate Our Boys Into Manhood?
- Part 2
Timothy Aguilar: What You See is What You Get
Beginnings and Endings: Cycle of Life
Nick Rath: Speak Softly and Wear a Loud Shirt
Recommended Readings: Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships
To Those Men Born Between the 30's and the 70's: You
Can Relate to This
Greywolf's Native Spirit Lodge In New Larger Quarters
Men's Teams
Important Web Links
CD's by Sacred Path Members Available
Sacred Path Alumni Yahoo Group
Contribute to the Newsletter
A Message from the Director -
Dr. Stephen Johnson
 Dear
Friends,
I'm writing to you on Monday, April 3rd, at an altitude of
38,000 feet, having departed the Big Apple three hours ago.
My wife and I traveled to New York last Thursday to participate
in a series of meetings as well as to spend quality time with
friends and take in the sights at a whirlwind pace.
On Friday morning, I met with Brad Zervas, the Executive Director
of the Boys Clubs of New York, an organization that has been
in existence for 130 years. We discussed our mutual concern
about the struggle that boys are having in growing up in a culture
lacking the crucial support of fathers and mentors in their
lives.
He was interested in the work that we have been doing at the
Men's Center of Los Angeles through our programs. We shared
the vision of the Ascension to Manhood Project in which they
want to host an international summit in 2007 bringing together
the people conducting the research and those in the trenches
doing the hands-on work with young males. They will also be
publishing a journal.
Brad was very enthusiastic about the direction we're heading
with our Call to Adventure/ Rites of Passage retreats. He even
offered the use of their several-hundred-acre camp facility
in New York for our first east coast retreat to be held next
summer.
In addition to meeting with Brad, I met my literary agent for
the first time after working with her for 16 months via the
phone and e-mail. I also spent a day writing with a new editor.
We perched ourselves at the Algonquin Hotel, a legendary haunt
for writers.
Among the many activities I packed into three full days was
the very moving experience of taking the subway cross-town to
Ground Zero. In 1979, my wife and I had ascended the 120 floors
to the top of the World Trade Center. We then had gone to the
roof and climbed the stairs to the observation tower while holding
on tightly as powerfully gusting winds chilled us to the bone.
We then had breakfast in the Windows on the World restaurant.
I will never forget that morning.
To stand at Ground Zero on Saturday late afternoon where the
Twin Towers had stood was quite emotional for us. The next morning
we attended Catholic Mass at Church of the Savior on Park Avenue
near Grand Central Station.
Father George Rutler celebrated the mass. The pungent fragrance
of frankincense and myrrh, combined with the Gregorian chants
sung by the choir contributed to the atmosphere that highlighted
the poignant message of Father Rutler's homily.
On the morning of September 11, 2001, when the first plane
smashed into Tower #1, Father Rutler was in his vestry. When
he learned what had happened, he put on his running shoes and
ran two-and-a-half miles to the foot of the Twin Towers. As
the firemen entered the building, he and another elderly priest
who had ministered to the firefighters for years gave absolution
to each fireman who entered the building. At one fateful moment
when the tower was disintegrating, something fell from high
above onto the other priest, killing him. You may recall seeing
the footage of the firemen immediately picking him up, carrying
him into his nearby church and placing him on the altar. I remembered
that image while being with Father Rutler on Sunday morning.
I felt enormously honored as he blessed me by making the sign
of the cross on my forehead.
The trip to New York was an incredible prelude to the upcoming
retreat. I'm excited by the response that we're getting. The
community is shaping up to be well-rounded and balanced with
younger males and older guys. We have fathers and sons, brothers
and other relatives joining us, while a number of men have invited
friends to attend.
Your staff for this 19th Annual Spring Retreat will number
more than 20. We met early last month for a day-long workshop
and council to prepare for the retreat. All of us are really
looking forward to supporting each of you in getting the most
out of the experience.
I've been looking at the list of signups and wondering about
some of you that typically make a great contribution to the
event. Hey, you late registrants... we're really going to miss
you if you're not with us. So, what are you waiting for? Get
your registrations in!
Namaste,
Stephen
Upcoming Events - Mark Your Calendar
Ed Munter: Songs
of the Soul and Soul Journey
Find the Love You've Been Looking For... Look Inside!
Can art save the world? A Christian, A Muslim, and a Jew
performing in a revolutionary new musical seem to believe
it just might be possible. In this critical time, when mankind
seems to be divided into warring factions and we seem to be
balanced on the brink of a Holy War, Soul Journey
presents a completely different perspective that is inspiring
and universally accessible. Soul Journey, currently playing
at the Earth & Sky Performing Arts Center, plays like
a funny and touching spiritual fable of the soul's adventure
through the human experience.
As an audience, we are led through a soul-discovery process
to the moment of enlightenment that opens up to a joyful celebration
of our commonality. This collective discovery cuts through
global politics, religious beliefs, doctrine, dogma, spiritual
rhetoric and current world conflicts to arrive at a deeper
connection within us all.
Join Ed Munter, Christo Pellani, and Rashid Lanie
in this revolutionary theatrical experience.
Saturday, April 29, 8 PM
Earth & Sky Performing Arts Center
5521 Grosvenor, Playa Vista
(310) 281-6601
405 to 90 freeway / Centinela exit / left on Centinela
to Jefferson / right on Jefferson
Tickets are $20.00 in advance, $25.00 at the door
Sacred Ways Events
for 2006
April 1-2 Retreat, Ojai Eco-sanctuary
April 15 Mens/Boys Vision Quest Lodge, Solvang 2 PM
April 16 - Vision Quest/Community Lodge, Solvang 10 AM
April 20 through 23 - Sacred Path/Call to Adventure Retreat
May 10 through 14 - Vision Quest
May 20 - Sacred Ways 2nd Annual Fundraiser
June 9 through 11 - Retreat
June 21 - Summer Solstice Gathering, Solvang 7 PM
July 1 through 14 - Sundance, South Dakota
July 24 through 27 - New Hampshire, Connecticut
July 28 through 31 - New Milford, Connecticut
August 5 - Final registration for Fall Vision Quest
August 12 - Vision Quest meeting, 12 noon, Solvang
August 25 through 28 - Camping/Collecting Stone People, Mojave
Desert
September 9 - Mens/Boys Sunrise Lodge,Solvang, 6 AM
September 10 - Vision Quest/Community Sunrise Lodge, Solvang
6 AM
October 5 through 11 - Connecticut
October 19 through 22 - Sacred Path/Call to Adenture Retreat
October 28 - Mens/Boys Vision Quest Lodge, Solvang, 2 PM
October 29 - Womens/Girls Vision Quest Lodge, Solvang 10 AM
November 4 - Community Lodge, Solvang 12 noon
November 15 through 19 - Vision Quest
December 2 - Wopila Lodge, Solvang 12 noon
December 3 - Wopila Lodge, Solvang 10 AM
December 28 through January 1 - New Years Retreat, Ojai Eco-sanctuary
For more information, contact: www.sacred-ways.org
Spring Retreat
and Call to Adventure - April 20-23, 2006
As you all know, springtime has brought with it the opportunity
to hold combined Sacred Path and Call to Adventure/Rites of
Passage Retreats. This spring, all men and youth will be invited
to participate in the Call to Adventure events, such as the
ropes course. We anticipate that a community of 120 participants
comprising 100 men and youth as well as a staff of 20 will
be on the Mountain for this Retreat. There will be ample opportunity
for men wishing to share Sacred Space with other men to be
able to speak safely from the depths of their souls. We will
provide an array of optional experiences for all. Since many
of the men from the Fall Retreat have spoken about bringing
several new men and youth to the Spring Retreat, we expect
it to sell out early. Remember, you must register by March
13th to secure the Early Bird discount, and by April 1st to
secure any discount, including the one for first-time participants.
We will take late registrations on the first day of the retreat,
if space is available.
Weekly Men's Groups
are available in Woodland Hills and Beverly Hills. Please call
for information.
Volunteers needed for Building
and Dismantling Container
We need volunteers to help contruct
and dismantle the container for the upcoming retreat. It's
quite a powerful experience to join in camaraderie with other
men and watch the container take shape under the direction
of Master Carpenter Scott Edwards. Construction begins on
Thursday at 10 AM and will take several hours to complete.
Of course, dismantling is much faster, lasting only a couple
of hours. And – you get the benefit of a free lunch while
the building is going on! What more could you ask? Please
contact Rich Manners at (818) 888-8852 or e-mail him at: jyngleman@sbcglobal.net
to let us know you'll be there.
Stephen Johnson: Who Will
Initiate Our Boys Into Manhood? - Part 2
My first exposure to traditional rites of passage was ten
years ago, when my oldest son was 13. A group of us fathers
prepared a weekend-long initiation experience for our sons,
who ranged from 13 to 15. We, fathers and sons, met monthly
during the year preceding the ritual ceremony to plan it out.
Using Bernard Wiener's book Boys to Men as a guide,
we sketched out our blueprint for the rites of passage initiatory
experience that we would provide for our boys. Our wives were
aware and fully supportive of our process, and knew what part
they would play in choreographing the event. Our sons asked
questions and offered suggestions along the way while attempting
to contain their growing anxiety as we moved closer to the
anticipated weekend. We flew Malidoma Somé (who was
himself initiated as a boy in a traditional African rites
of passage ordeal) down from Oakland to officiate. This was
Malidoma's first rites of passage initiation for young men
since his arrival in this country in the late 1980's. He wanted
every one to be clear that one does not become initiated overnight.
One weekend does not accomplish what may require years to
evolve. Initiation is a process, while the ceremony itself
is but a point of reference.
By the time the fateful weekend arrived, the boys were jumping
out of their skins. The fathers gathered up their sons in
the early morning before dawn and began the journey to the
ceremonial land. The boys were blindfolded to create an aura
of mystery, and to encourage the initiate inward for self-reflection.
They were driven up to the Wright land, a sacred parcel owned
by Eric Wright, champion of men's work and grandson of the
renowned architect, Frank Lloyd Wright. Upon arrival, the
blindfolds were removed and the boys greeted one another and
observed their surroundings.
We gathered on the outskirts of the property to give the
boys some preliminary instructions before sending them off
on their individual pilgrimages through the hills, ending
up in a second gathering place. Along the way, each boy met
strategically positioned elders in various nooks and crannies
who confronted him with questions like, "Have you come alone?"
or "What are you seeking?" or "What have you brought me?"
By the time the boys found their way to the clearing, they
were fairly well tenderized and primed for the discussion
on manhood facilitated by Malidoma. The fathers joined in
sharing stories from their own youth and early initiatory
experiences.
After lunch, we gathered to meet with the Medicine Chief
who would be leading the sweat lodge and hear him teach about
the native ritual of purification and prayer. We all participated
in the placement of sacred stones in the fire pit, the building
of the fire itself, and the covering of the lodge. The creation
of the altar and all the symbolism with every nuance deepened
the meaning of the ceremony. By sunset we entered the lodge
reverently and commenced with one of the most powerful and
bonding experiences that these fathers and sons had ever had
together. It was a rite of passage as much for the fathers
as for the sons. Afterwards, we sat around the fire sharing
a meal and personal stories from the lodge.
As the day came to a close, the boys picked up their gear
and headed toward an isolated spot on the land, which each
boy had carefully sought out earlier in the day. They would
sleep alone, away from all the others for the entire night.
Each carried with him a letter and a medicine bundle that
their mothers had diligently prepared. The letters were to
be opened and read only after the boy was tucked away in his
sleeping bag. Following the reading of the letter came the
exploration of the contents of the medicine bundle. Each bundle
Š also known as a medicine bag Š consisted of objects that
were specially selected by the boy's mother reflecting the
love and appreciation felt for her son. This represents a
treasured and sacred keepsake to commemorate the event.
At breakfast, Malidoma carefully explained the details and
nature of his won initiation. The boys sat transfixed with
penetrating eyes as they took in every word. Time was set
aside for preparing the gauntlet and archway that the boys
would traverse and pass under. The archway would serve as
a portal or point of demarcation signifying that the boy had
crossed a threshold from one realm to the next. The boys walked
solemnly through the gauntlet line and were presented to Malidoma
by their fathers. Malidoma stood on the other side of the
archway to receive them, one at a time, as they crossed the
threshold. The fathers had prepared medicine bags containing
letters that they had written to their sons as well as a meticulously
chosen knife, which each presented to his son, as Malidoma
blessed the new young men and welcomed them from the village
of the boys to the village of the men. All enjoyed a tremendous
feast, and the weekend came to a close with the weary yet
transformed initiates congratulating each other and readying
themselves for the journey back down the mountain.
This is one example of an initiation ritual. Father-and-son
bonding experiences through rites of passage ceremonies can
come in a variety of shapes and forms. For example, a father
might take his son on a wilderness adventure. A mother and
father took their son to Alaska for a week of kayaking and
salmon fishing. A mentor and young man team who loved climbing
decided to scale an advanced peak to commemorate the boy's
transition to manhood. While another father took his son to
a golf camp vacation, they bonded on the golf course, which
is an age-old tradition.
The passing on of traditions is an important rite of passage
in itself. Such as, for example, when a father or uncle teaches
the boy to carve the turkey at the Thanksgiving meal and then,
one year, asks the boy to do the deed. This can serve as a
memorable benchmark for the evolution from boyhood to manhood.
Men need to recognize that part of the circle of life is stepping
aside to allow a space and time for their offspring to assume
their roles. Every family and ethnic group has traditions
that are passed on from the elders to the youth.
So, who will initiate our boys into manhood? The answer is
that all men and women can help achieve this vital responsibility.
Our society needs this in order to pass on the traditions
and rituals that serve as a bridge from the ancient times
of our ancestors to our modern times. As the central character,
Tevye, wisely announces in the Broadway play, a culture without
rituals and traditions is as "shaky as a fiddler on the roof."
Timothy Aguilar: What
You See is What You Get
What we believe is happening. What we think we are seeing
is the reason why we react the way that we do. I'LL BELIEVE
IT WHEN I SEE IT! See what? What are we waiting to see? Do
we have eyes that are able to really see what the truth is?
SEEING IS BELIEVING! How many arguments have you been involved
in where in the end you found yourself apologizing? What were
you seeing before you said "I'm sorry"?
We have become defensive, protective, attacking. The once
dormant energy inside us began to arise.
FIGHT OR FLIGHT was running through our veins. Our breathing
became shallow, our posture contorted, the heat in our bodies
moved closer to boiling, our ability to listen drowned out
by pain and OUR EYES HARDENED.
So, can we believe what we see? No, we are lost and we probably
don't know it.
SOFT EYES
Wait... be patient... the time to try to communicate is when
your eyes have softened. SOFT EYES ARE LOVING. Hard eyes create
separation, stimulate fear; the moment becomes dangerous.
This is where we hurt and often damage the ones we love.
Can you imagine a life without fighting? Can you imagine
a life without arguments? Can you imagine??? Right now I am
holding the image of this in my heart.
RETREAT WITH US
Retreat from the hard life; come realize what dormant energy
may be residing inside of you. Learn to trust what you are
seeing. April 20th is right around the corner. I'LL SEE YOU
THERE...
Much Love,
Timothy
Beginnings and Endings:
Cycle of Life
As we walk through the world, the people we encounter appear
so different from one another. We see babies, old men, pregnant
women, and teenage boys. We know couples on the verge of marriage
and lonely widows. We interact with toddlers and the terminally
ill. As different as each person seems, they are all living
the human experience. They are just at different places in
the cycle that begins with birth and ends with death. Every
phase of the cycle of life has its gifts and its challenges.
Each stage is temporary and ultimately gives way to a new
phase. This ephemeral quality makes each phase precious, because
it will never last.
One of the wonderful qualities possessed by babies and young
children is that they are unaware that a cycle of life even
exists. They simply are present to wherever they happen to
be right now, and they don't give much thought to the past
or future. Being around them reminds us of the joy that comes
from living fully in the moment. On the opposite end of life's
cycle are our elderly role models. They are a reminder that
each phase of life should be treasured. Time does pass, and
we all change and grow older.
Being aware of the cycle of life and our place in it makes
us wiser. As we develop a true appreciation for the phase
we are in, we can savor it more. A new mother going through
a difficult time with her infant can more easily embrace her
challenges because she knows that her child will grow up,
and she will long for this time again. Difficult and challenging
periods are inevitable, but – like everything that is
a part of the cycle of life – they are temporary. When
we are fully engaged with life, we get to savor and grow from
each phase, and we are ready for the next one when it arrives.
Fully embracing wherever you are in the cycle of life is the
very essence of happiness.
Nick Rath: Speak Softly and
Wear a Loud Shirt – Lessons
Learned at a Soccer Game
The first thing most people notice about Dave was that on
the weekends he wears loud shirts. Dave isn't very tall but
he has a big laugh and merry eyes and whenever I see him,
I catch myself smiling. He's married to Lynette who makes
the best chocolate chip cookies of any of the soccer moms.
They have three children and, apparently, a family life to
envy, you know the type – good kids who never give them
a moment of grief, lots of love and respect in their conversations,
frequent participation in church and community activities.
People notice Dave – first for his loud shirts and then
for how he is as a parent.
 Dave
never raises his voice at his kids to get them to do something.
In fact, I've never heard him have to ask them more than once
to do something. Unlike me, Dave never seems frustrated by
his kids.
His daughter Carol was the star of the nine-year-old girls'
soccer team, and my daughter was first substitute. One day
I parked my lawn chair beside Dave's on the edge of the soccer
field and sat down. "Dave," I started tentatively,
"may I ask you a question?"
"I don't know if I'll have the answer," he smiled,
"but you're welcome to ask."
"I've noticed that your family seems to really enjoy
being a family."
"That's true," he said, "my family is the
greatest joy of my life."
"Well, how'd you get that way?" I asked. "I
mean, how do you get your kids to cooperate with you? Shoot,
how do you just get them to listen to you?"
"You mean your kids don't listen to you?"
Dave asked.
"I'm lucky if they hear me the fifth time I tell them
to do something," I said forlornly, remembering how angry
I'd become just that morning.
"Oh yeah, that's how it used to be with Carol,"
Dave said, pointing at his daughter as she charged after the
ball. "When she was our only child we asked, we pleaded,
some times we even begged her to do things. And we did it
over and over and over! There were days when I thought about
having her hearing checked."
"What happened?" I asked.
"Well, I did just what you're doing," he said.
"We went to a church picnic, and I watched another father
interact with his son. He said, 'Bobby, I'm only going to
tell you once; remembering is your job. I want you to return
your books to the library before the picnic gets started.
If you do that, you can then play with your friends and eat
with them when the food is ready. If you don't do it before
the food is ready, you'll have to do it, come back, and be
last in line to eat.' I noticed that he told Bobby what he
wanted done, what would happen if he did it, and what would
happen if he didn't do it."
"Did Bobby do it right away?"
"Well, I watched, and Bobby said, 'Okay, I will, Dad,
in a minute.' But he and his friends started roughhousing
and soon they ran over to the baseball diamond. Bobby completely
forgot about the library books. When the food was ready, Bobby
showed up with the rest of the kids and suddenly remembered
what his Dad had asked him to do. He went to his Dad and said,
'Dad, I'm sorry, I forgot. Can I eat first and then go to
the library?'
"I walked closer. I wanted to hear what this Dad said.
'Did you know what to do?' he asked.
"'Yes,' Bobby answered.
"'Did you know how long you had to get it done?'
"'Yes,' Bobby hung his head.
"'Did someone force you not to do it?'
"'Well, noooo.' Bobby knew he wouldn't be eating for
a while.
"'Then you get to go do it now, don't you?' his Dad
said, 'Sorry you made that choice.'
"'But, Dad, everyone else is eating now,' protested
Bobby.
"'Yep. Me too,' his Dad said, 'I had stuff to do, just
like you, but I didn't wait.'
"Bobby took off for the library. When he returned, everyone
was eating watermelon, and he got the last two burnt hot-dogs.
He also got the last crumbs of the potato chips and the last
of the potato salad," Dave finished his story.
"I'd have felt sorry for the boy," I said, "might
even have stopped and gotten him something to eat on the way
home."
"Me too," Dave laughed, "but I learned something
that day. I learned that it was the boy who chose when he
ate. It was Bobby who chose not to do what he was asked to
do when he was asked to do it. All the responsibility was
Bobby's, not his Dad's."
"So what did you do?" I asked.
"My wife and I discussed it and then we called our kids
in, and I made a short speech. I said something like, 'This
is how itÕs gonna be from now on. Your mother and I are only
going to ask you or tell you something once. We'll let you
know what the consequences are, what your choices are and
then it's going to be up to you.'"
"And from then on Carol did what you asked when you
asked?" I cried in disbelief!
He laughed. "No, of course, she didn't. Her Mom and
I had trained her well! She knew that she didn't have to listen
the first time, so she didn't listen the first time! But even
harder than retraining Carol was retraining ourselves!"
"You had to be retrained too?"
"Yeah. While I was training Carol not to listen I was
training myself to repeat. So I would maybe ask Carol to put
her stuff away and then two minutes later I'd ask her again.
Bad move! Every time I repeated the request, Carol heard that
she had more time before she actually needed to do it. It
wasn't just with Carol, either. I noticed that Lynette and
I did it to each other, too. Lynette would ask me to do something
and I'd usually wait until she had asked me again before I
got into action."
"But now you all just do things, being asked only once?"
"Yeah, most of the time. Carol's teacher at school has
told us that she really likes that Carol responds to first
requests. Lynette and I find married life a lot easier since
we started this, and Carol likes it too. We each feel that
we're respected more, because the rest of the family really
listens to us."
"And Carol likes it too?"
"You bet she does! It reminds her that this is no dress
rehearsal – this is her life. She's respected, and she's
in charge. Every kid I know likes that! She isn't in charge
of everything, you know, but enough so that she knows we trust
her, and she's learning to make better and better decisions."
The soccer teams raced up and down the field, but my mind
was on what Dave had said. That night I discussed it with
my wife and we decided to start the say-it-once program in
our family. It took a few weeks until we were all retrained,
and sometimes our kids still choose differently than I'd like,
but they're learning, and so am I.
A few months after our first conversation I saw Dave at another
soccer game.
"Hey, Dave, thanks for the good advice you gave me,"
I said. "You're more than welcome," he smiled. "How's
it working?"
"Good," I said, "but, listen, I have another
question for you."
"Okay, shoot!"
"Why the loud shirts?" I asked.
"Hey, if you were four feet tall, looking for your Dad
in a crowd, who would be easier to find, you or me?"
I went out that very afternoon and bought the loudest Hawaiian
shirt I could find!
Sacred Path members can send in their
own reviews and recommendations of personal favorites, whether
they be novels, poetry, short stories, or nonfiction dealing
with men's work, essays, anecdotes, sources of inspiration,
etc. Each review could include a short blurb on the author,
or perhaps a short piece taken from the work. Send your favorite
reads to Rich Manners at:
jyngleman@sbcglobal.net
PERFECT LOVE, IMPERFECT RELATIONSHIPS
HEALING
THE WOUND OF THE HEART
by
John Welwood
204 pages
It's not very often that I feel an author is
writing a book for me specifically, but John Welwood's words
rose up and enveloped me with ideas and feelings that resonated
down to my soul, and I'll wager with great certainty that
you will feel exactly the same way. I learned more about myself,
especially good things, than I have in quite a long time,
and I feel that I have been given tools that will allow me
to continue expanding in love for myself, those in relationship
to me, and the planet in general. For the first time, I was
able to embrace the idea that the unconditional love that
I have craved is always available to me from inside myself.
Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships
begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out
of a universal core wounding around love that affects not
only our personal relationships but the quality of life in
our world as a whole. The wounding shows up as a pervasive
mood of unlove – a deep sense that we are not
intrinsically lovable just as we are. This shuts down
our capacity to trust, so even though we may hunger for love,
we have difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate
freely through us.
This book takes us on a powerful journey of
healing and transformation that involves learning to embrace
our humanness and appreciate the imperfections of our relationships
as trail markers along the path to great love. It sets
forth a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold
against others for not loving us better and against ourselves
for not being better loved. It shows how our longing to be
loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from
looking to others to find ourselves.
Read this book – it will open vistas in
your heart that you may only have hoped were there.
To Those Men Born Between the
30's and the 70's: You Can Relate to This
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or
drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were
covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets
and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention,
the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air
bags.
Riding in the back of a pickup on a warm day was always a special
treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle
and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda
pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE
ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long
as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and
then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.
After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve
the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video
games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies,
no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no
Internet or Internet chat rooms...WE HAD FRIENDS and we went
outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there
were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did
not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games
with sticks and tennis balls, and although we were told it would
happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those
who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine
that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was
unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem
solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new
ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we
learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck
to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated
our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, show it
to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors,
doesn't it?!
Greywolf's Native Spirit Lodge
in New Larger Quarters
The Native Spirit Lodge has moved to a facility
2 1/2 times larger than the old store. It is now located at
22559 Ventura Boulevard in Woodland Hills, two blocks west of
Shoup on the north side of the street. Greywolf and David have
augmented their stocks of stones, crystals, carved turquoise,
necklaces, bracelets, and Native American goods including pipes,
talking sticks, drums, rattles, various smudges and more. They
will have a complete supply of Tibetan Singing Bowls arriving
in April. Hours are Wednesday through Sunday, 12-6 PM. The phone
number is still (818) 703-7046. Remember to ask for the Sacred
Path discount price when you purchase your goods.
A new group will be forming in the Venice/Pacific Palisades
area. For more info on joining and meeting times, contact Nick
Rath at (310) 454-2965, or e-mail him at: nrath@adelphia.net
The West Hills Group is now filled to
capacity. For those interested in adding their names to the
wait list, contact Mitch Cohen at (818) 631-4175, or e-mail
him at freehand@earthlink.net
The West Side Men's Group meets every first Thursday of the
month in addition to our required monthly gathering on the third
Thursday of the month.In April, the West Side Men's Gathering
will get together again on Thursday, April 6th as well as Thursday,
the 20th, location to be determined. For more information or
to join the group, call Mark Kreher at (310)581-6616 or e-mail
him at: mark.kreher@verizon.net.
You can also contact David Sacks at (323) 650-8239, or e-mail
him at: dasacks@yahoo.com,
The Thousand Oaks/Calabasas Men's Circle is currently meeting
monthly. If you live near this geographic area and have an interest
in participating in a men's group, contact Matthew at (818)774-1000,
or e-mail him at: matthewburke@singerburke.com
for more informaton.
David "Stongbear" Myers is heading up a team in the
San Gabriel Valley. If you're interested in joining, talk to
Strongbear at (818)541-9499, or e-mail him at: dj0814myers@earthlink.net.
Important Web Links
SACRED WAYS, Andrew Soliz' organization dedicated to
promoting growth and healing through traditional Native American
teachings and ceremonies. To check on the latest events, ceremonies,
sweatlodges, and other information, log on to www.sacred-ways.org.
To contact Andrew directly, e-mail Andrew@sacred-ways.org.
ALBERT MARREWA, counselor, instructor of martial arts,
consultant, lecturer, and workshop facilitator. Access Albert's
web site at www.albertmarrewa.com
for biographical information, lists of services, and calendar
of events, or e-mail Albert directly at albertmarrewa@aol.com.
HIS SIDE, the weekly radio program on KTIE 940 AM hosted
by Glenn Sacks. Go to www.hisside.com
to find out about future programs, sign up for the weekly newsletter,
listen live via streaming audio at 5 PM every Sunday, and contact
Glenn directly.
MEN ALIVE, the web site hosted by Jed Diamond, psychologist,
author, and speaker. Jed spoke at our first monthly gathering
and again last November, outlining his new book, "The Irritable
Male Syndrome: Managing the 4 Key Causes of Male Depression
and Aggression". Go to: menalive-on@lists.mcn.org
to receive Jed's weekly newsletter online, and contact Jed directly
at: jed@menalive.com.
CHRISTO PELLANI, Sacred Path's Master Percussionist.
Stay current with events featuring Christo and his friends by
logging onto his web site: www.soundformation.com.
ED MUNTER, originator and star performer of Soul
Journey. Find out about the latest performances of this
soul-stirring experience, as well as CD ordering info and more
about Ed himself. Log onto www.innerpathproductions.org
INTERFAITH INVENTIONS, an organization dedicated to
enriching the lives of children and adults through programs
that promote respect and understanding between people of diverse
faiths. They are developing a national network of summer camps
to bring together Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Native
American, and other faiths' children to have fun and to form
lasting relationships. The camp experience includes developing
a relationship with the natural world around them; sharing family
stories, food customs, drumming and music; exploring shared
values of compassion, reconciliation and respect for others
through sacred texts and stories from their traditions as well
as art projects, games, camp fires, and informal play time.
The summer program includes following up activities to help
forge lasting relationships between the children and their communities.
For more info on this highly worthwhile organization, contact
Phil Dichter, President of Interfaith Inventions, at: www.interfaithinventions.org
CD's by Sacred Path Members Available
You can purchase the excellent CD's by Sacred Path brothers
Ed Munter and Tommy Holmes, and Albert Marrewa.
Ed's CD's, Tracking Down the Soul and Soul Journey,
are available at www.innerpathproductions.org
Tommy's self-titled album can be ordered from www.TommyHolmes.com.
Albert's Relaxing Into Now is available at www.albertmarrewa.com
In addition, talks by the Director of the L.A. Men's Center,
Dr. Stephen Johnson, are available on the LA Men's Center website,
as well as several CD sets of past retreats.Go to
www.menscenterlosangeles.com
Sacred Path Alumni Yahoo Group
What does Sacred Path do to support men after they have completed
their retreats? The Sacred Path Alumni Discussion Group is one
answer to that query. It provides a means for our community
of men to have ongoing e-mail contact and discussions with their
fellow Sacred Path Retreat graduates. Membership is restricted
to graduates of a Sacred Path retreat. The simplest way to sign
up is to send an e-mail (its content is irrelevant) to: Sacred_Path_Alumni-subscribe@Yahoo.groups.com.
You can also join from the Sacred Path Alumni's home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sacredpathalumni.
Once you have become a member of the discussion group, you
can begin using our Sacred Path Alumni Yahoo Group immediately.
Members are able to use any or all of the following features:
Contribute to the Newsletter
Does your creativity need an outlet? Here's a chance for your
unique words to appear on the printed page (or at least a computer
screen)! Send us an article, an anecdote, a poem, a joke; whatever
tickles your fancy. Please address your e-mails to Rich Manners
at: jyngleman@sbcglobal.net.
Bribes will be cheerfully accepted!
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