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The Men's Center of Los Angeles
Beverly Hills/Woodland Hills

in Association with
Sacred Path Productions

Newsletter for December 2005


Voicemail: (818) 348-9302

Web Site: www.menscenterlosangeles.com

Contact: info@menscenterlosangeles.com


Our Mission:
"Bringing good men together and bringing out the best in them"

Our Approach:
Helping develop a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment for men by fostering vision, passion, authenticity and intimate connection to self and others

Our Services:
Psychotherapy for individuals, families, and groups, as well as our Sacred Path and Call to Adventure Retreats, Workshops, Seminars, and Monthly Men's Gatherings


WINTER SOLSTICE JUST AROUND THE CORNER


MORE MEN'S TEAMS BEING FORMED - SEE BELOW

IN THIS ISSUE:

A Message from the Director
Upcoming Events - Mark Your Calendar

  • Winter Solstice Ceremony and Celebration December 18
  • Ed Munter: Soul Journey December 31
  • Sacred Ways Events
  • Spring Retreat and Call to Adventure - April 20-23, 2006
  • Ongoing Men's Groups

Albert Marrewa's Relaxing Into Now CD Now Available

The Retreat Keeps On Reverberating

Bob Fimiani and Bobbi Liberton: Edges and Jumping

Recommended Readings: The End of Faith

Men's Teams

American Business at Its Best

Important Web Links

CD's by Sacred Path Members Available

Sacred Path Alumni Yahoo Group

Contribute to the Newsletter


A Message from the Director - Dr. Stephen Johnson

Sunday, November 30, 2005

Greetings,

Since we typically get the newsletter out by the first of the month, no doubt there are those of you who were thinking, "I know, Johnson was just waiting to write his piece until after the USC/UCLA game has been played. He probably just wants to gloat over the probable SC win." Well, maybe some of that is true. I was at the game yesterday with my son Derek, who graduated from SC last year, as well as my dear friend of 45 years, Pat Duffy, who attended high school and SC with me, among a sell-out crowd of 92,000 in the Coliseum to witness an extraordinary spectacle.

I had attended most of the home games and had, in fact, worn a "Leave No Doubt" button on the lapel of my lucky cardinal and gold shirt. Yesterday's game left no doubt about a number of things including the fact that it was SC's seventh consecutive win over UCLA, extending its winning streak to 34 games, clinching the PAC 10 title outright and earning the Trojans a trip to the Rose Bowl, this seasonŐs bowl championship series title game, where they will play No. 2 ranked Texas and attempt to complete their quest for a third straight national championship.

Certainly, I could wax on about running back Reggie Bush's outstanding performance as he racked up 260 yards in 18 carries, scoring 2 touchdowns. He deserves to be awarded the Heisman next Saturday. Leinart announced that Reggie has his vote. And, I can tout Lendale White's contribution to the game in gaining 114 yards and scoring two touchdowns. And there are the others who make the Trojans the team that they have become.

That's all well and good but that's not the part of the spectacle that I want to write about. We were all wondering why quarterback Matt Leinart's passing was so off during the first half of the game. I turned to the fella sitting next to me and asked what he thought was the problem. He told me that he saw Leinart up close as he walked through the gauntlet of fans lining the entrance to the tunnel which he and the team would pass through as they entered the coliseum and walked across the field to their locker room. He said, "Leinart looked like he had the flu. He didn't look to be himself." This, along with 18 other seniors, was his last home game as a Trojan.

When the team was readying to take the field before the start of the game, the 19 seniors were introduced, one after the other. As they came through the tunnel onto the field to a standing ovation and cheers from the crowd, you could sense what it must feel like for those young men to receive the acknowledgment for their achievements. Leinart was the last to be introduced. The crowd roared with approval for the man who won the Heisman Trophy last year and chose to stay for his senior year when almost everyone would understand it if he had chosen to go pro. He wanted to complete his college education at SC and stay with the team members, coaching staff, students and faculty that he had grown to love. This, for me, signified the real heart of a champion and the mark of true character. Pat's and my eyes filled with tears as Leinart took the field for the last time.

This morning, when I read the sports section, it all became clear when I read that Leinart began to cry as he walked into the coliseum and he continued to cry as he readied himself for his final home game. His tears became more prominent as he ran onto the field amidst thunderous cheers raining down from above and as he made his way through the human tunnel of family members, former SC players, friends and team mates. The emotion was so palpable for him that he couldn't control his passes.

"He was so emotional, teary and crying," Coach Pete Carroll said. "He was a messÉ He was trying to maximize the moment, and he did." The emotion and timing of the introduction prevented him from warming up. He missed on his first five passes and struggled throughout the first half. He settled down in the second half and finished with 21 of 40 passes for 233 yards and three touchdowns.

For me, the reason I love college football is more than the points and the wins. It has to do with the story behind the score. It's the human emotion, the tough choices that build character and shape the boy into the man that he becomes. For me, men like Matt Leinart and Coach Pete Carroll make all the difference in how the game is played and ultimately won. The game of life, on the field, has a lot to teach us about the game of life and how we play it off the field.

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas,

Stephen

Upcoming Events - Mark Your Calendar

Winter Solstice Ceremony and Celebration December 18

The Ancients around the globe throughout human history gathered on the Winter Solstice to affirm that this darkest day of the year is a threshold to the Light. They come into community to create Ceremony and Celebration, followed by gift exchange and feasting (pot luck).

Join Master Percussionist Christo Pellani and Movement Facilitator Extraordinaire Fred Sugerman on Sunday, December 18, from 1:00 to 5:00 PM in this experiential journey into the sensuality and the wisdom of the body.

Location: Earth and Sky Lodge
5521 Grosvenor Boulevard, West of Centinella off of Jefferson
Limited Space: RSVP Now
$40.00 if paid before December 5, $50.00 after December 5
$60.00 at the door (space permitting)
Call for registration and directions (818) 608-9848

Ed Munter: Songs of the Soul and Soul Journey

Find the Love You've Been Looking For... Look Inside!

Can art save the world? A Christian, A Muslim, and a Jew performing in a revolutionary new musical seem to believe it just might be possible. In this critical time, when mankind seems to be divided into warring factions and we seem to be balanced on the brink of a Holy War, Soul Journey presents a completely different perspective that is inspiring and universally accessible. Soul Journey, currently playing at the Earth & Sky Performing Arts Center, plays like a funny and touching spiritual fable of the soul's adventure through the human experience.

As an audience, we are led through a soul-discovery process to the moment of enlightenment that opens up to a joyful celebration of our commonality. This collective discovery cuts through global politics, religious beliefs, doctrine, dogma, spiritual rhetoric and current world conflicts to arrive at a deeper connection within us all.

Join Ed Munter, Christo Pellani, and Rashid Lanie in this revolutionary theatrical experience.

Saturday, December 31, 8 PM

Earth & Sky Performing Arts Center
5521 Grosvenor, Playa Vista

(310) 281-6601

405 to 90 freeway / Centinela exit / left on Centinela to Jefferson / right on Jefferson

Tickets are $20.00 in advance, $25.00 at the door

Sacred Ways Events

Andrew Soliz' Sacred Ways will be holding the following events for the remainder of the year:

  • December 10-11: Gratitude Ceremony
  • December 31-January 2: 1st Annual New Year's Sweat and Gathering

For more information, contact: www.sacred-ways.org

Spring Retreat and Call to Adventure - April 20-23, 2006

As you all know, springtime always brings a combined Sacred Path and Call to Adventure/Rites of PassageRetreat. We will have 50 participants on the Sacred Path side and 50 on the Call to Adventure/Rites of Passage side, supported by a staff of around 20. Since we had 65 participants and over 20 staff members for the past retreat, and many of the men have spoken about bringing several new men, the Spring Retreats will be sure to sell out early. So, to make sure you have a space reserved for you in the spring, you may want to send in a deposit of $175.00.

Weekly Men's Groups are available in Woodland Hills and Beverly Hills. Please call for information.

Albert Marrewa's Relaxing Into Now CD Now Available

"Relaxation renews us, purifies us, and leaves us with a profound feeling of serenity. Relaxation is total peace."

– Deng Ming Dao

Albert Marrewa, one of Sacred Path's favorite leaders and martial arts facilitators, has produced a new relaxation CD. Relaxing Into Now is an experiential journey, combining state-of-the-art sound healing programming with the spoken word mastery of guided meditation and relaxation facilitator, Albert Marrewa. This CD has been uniquely crafted to counter the detrimental effects of stress on both mind and body, thus promoting optimum psychological and physical well-being. To order, go to www.albertmarrewa.com or contact Albert directly at albertmarrewa@aol.com.

The Retreat Keeps On Reverberating

Our tribe from the fall retreat, the Men with the Golden Hair, had a reunion last night, and I was privileged to witness how each man has continued to grow from his experience on the mountain. I heard men speak truths that they were afraid to allow into their thoughts; I saw groundedness and strength where there had been self-doubt; I beheld courage and determination in making life-altering decisions. The group immediately resumed its deep camaraderie as though we had been meeting for years – the level of trust was truly amazing. I can honestly say that we, who had been together for only one 4-day period, loved and cared about one another. We ran out of time after only one round of check-ins, and had so much more to say, so before we broke up for the night we decided to arrange a tribal sweat up in Ojai with Andrew Soliz.

Residual effects from the retreat continue to arrive in my thoughts and feelings. I’m surprised at how one idea builds on the one before and creeps into my conscious mind, even five weeks after the fact. I had had a violent collision with my judge and came away with some valuable stuff: how I’d filtered everything that came at me through my prejudice and belief system, how I wanted to hold on to my judgments and be righteously angry, and how I disregarded any evidence that was contrary to my beliefs.

What’s presently trickling into my mind is this: our very condition of being human, the basic hard-wiring of our brains, is imperfect. Nature slapped our mammalian mid-brains on top of our fight-or-flight lizard brain stems, then plopped our neocortexes on top of the whole mess in a way that allows the primitive reactions from the lower brains and glands to influence our logic and our feelings big time. This boils down to the simple fact that we are all imperfect and are going to make mistakes, even people we hold up as icons, even ourselves. With this fact as a given, each of us has a choice: do we keep forgiveness in our spiritual vocabularies, or do we go with the idea that some people are not allowed to be wrong in their choices at some point? My revelation is that if I go into a situation with a supply of forgiveness handy, I’m able to dole it out much more readily. I have first-hand knowledge of what hanging on to my righteousness and anger does for me – I get stuck in that feeling, and it colors everything else in my world and drains me of energy until I decide to deal with it, however long I may choose to hold on. This includes being angry at myself for not being perfect and not being able to see the truth without judging it. The anger immediately builds an impenetrable wall between me and the person with whom I’m angry (or me and myself). When I’m able to let go of the anger or hurt or judgment and bring in forgiveness, the whole energy-draining wall of emotional garbage dissolves, leaving me a lot closer to seeing and feeling the truth.

We have so much to learn by observing our thoughts – not so much what we think, but how we think, the mechanism with which we formulate our present conclusions or feelings. By consciously watching our thought processes, we can spot where the old selfish lizard-brain is sneaking in and attempting to take over. This means going off automatic and really becoming aware. No kidding, this is no small task, and will take lots of time, but we’re all capable of doing it. Eckhart Tolle describes the process in The Power of Now.

The result for me is that very, very slowly, I’m becoming able to feel more connected to other human beings, and to all other life on the planet. I’m beginning to feel a part of the universe and to accept and respect it all, so when I get angry at someone else, in a way I’m getting pissed at a part of myself. This may sound like pretty heady stuff, but in actuality it’s incredibly simple. It sheds new light on those early homilies like, “Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself”, or “Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You”. Now, can we teke the process one final step? Can we consider the spider whose web sits in the corner of the garden a neighbor? How about the owls and coyotes that serenade us each night? And the trees, and the grass? Very slowly, the picture begins to take shape. You and I are connected to everything in the cosmos, connected by forgiveness and love. It's not strangers who suffer at the hands of a tsunami or a devastating earthquake; it's you, and it's me.

Rich Manners

Bob Fimiani and Bobbi Liberton: Edges and Jumping

The Edge

Come to the edge, he said.
They said: We are afraid.
Come to the edge, he said.
They came.
He pushed them...
And they flew

– Guillaume Apollinaire

On Jumping

Forty-two years ago, over a Lakewood, N.J. airport,
I (Bob) sat halfway out the open door of a single engine plane.
In an eighty-mile-per-hour wind,
I waited to make the first parachute jump of my then short life.
A loud voice was thundering in my head:

"Are you nuts? You must be crazy!!
You are about to jump into the sky with only a cord
that some fool jumpmaster says will pull out your World War II-era parachute,
which will keep you safe and allow you to fly
through the sky like a bird!
You are out of your mind! Don't do it! You are not a bird!!
You're going to die!! I promise!!!!Then came the tap on my shoulder from the jumpmaster.
I leaped from the plane, I flew like a bird, and I lived. I was safe.
My sense of time and space expanded forever.
My willingness to risk accelerated.
The possibility of death has never terrified me since.
The chute and the training worked.

How frequently have you stood at the precipice of a working relationship
with a colleague, a supervisor, or a supervisee,
too terrified to assert yourself, to apologize,
to hold someone else and/or yourself accountable,
to be authentic, or even be a little vulnerable?
How many times have you wanted to use all your skills
and/or acquire more skills to artfully or synergistically communicate with a coworker,
to co-create magical solutions to workplace challenges?
At those moments, have you given in
to the thundering voice in your head screaming:

"Are you nuts? Don't risk this! You must be crazy!
Don't do it! You are going to die!! I promise!!!"

if you are ruled by fear more often than you would like,
it is possible you have never known the co-creative ecstasy
that is possible in conscious professional relationships.
If you have not jumped into the mystery, you have not flown,
and your services and/or your product are still waiting for you
to take them and yourself to unlimited heights.

A parachute is used here as a metaphor for boundaries
and interpersonal communication skills.
The jumpmaster is a metaphor for people like us,
who can help awaken and enhance flying skills within you and your coworkers.
Contrary to the frequent thundering voice within,
the parachute and the training do work.
There are a number of skilled jumpmasters available.
Locate one (or in our case – two) with whom you resonate.
Ask for a complimentary consultation.
If you like, come fly with us.

Bob and Bobbi

P.S.: We suggest you read (or reread) Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach

Bobbi Liberton, Ph.D.
Bob Fimiani
Camelot Communicators
Phone and Fax: (310) 548-4447

www.camelotcommunicators.com

Recommended Readings

This month, we continue a new feature which will be a regular part of the newsletter. Sacred Path members can send in their own reviews and recommendations of personal favorites, whether they be novels, poetry, short stories, or nonfiction dealing with men's work, essays, anecdotes, sources of inspiration, etc. Each review could include a short blurb on the author, or perhaps a short piece taken from the work. Send your favorite reads to Rich Manners at: jyngleman@sbcglobal.net

The End of Faith
:
Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason
by Sam Harris
193 Pages

This book is a bucket of cold water in the face on a chilly winter morning. There is nothing sentimental in these pages. Avoid this book if you need solace or if you want to feel rosy and sweet and bonded. But if you are inclined to look serious matters squarely in the face, you'll not do better than to read this, Mr. Harris' first book. The research is impressive, the writing engaging, and the strength of his logic astonishing. Find out more about the author at his website: www.samharris.org.
We start with a familiar account: a young man, educated and reasonably well-off, steps onto a bus, explosives tied to his chest. At the next stop, an elderly couple boards with their shopping packages and sits across from our passenger. Soon the bus is full. We think we know how this is going to go, and in some ways we do. The author knows we will imagine where and why this happened, and we think we know: Palestine, yet again. No – that's about 10,000 miles off. It turns out our young passenger isn't on a jihad against sworn enemies from an occupying stet, or the heretics of some other religion. His compatriots follow the same religion and pray to the same god as he. This is not enough for our young fanatic, who finds reason aplenty to despise and even kill fellow believers who refuse to follow him down the stern, demanding last few steps of faith. But make no mistake; it is faith alone that guides these steps, despite the inclination to label such fanaticism insanity. It is the strength of his faith, and not some mental malady, which explains this fellow's actions.
The reader quickly gets the idea that he is in for a different type of argument. This is not the typical screed on the ills of religion or the inanity of the faith healers and snake handlers among us, though there's enough of that and more. The author doesn't call for yet more religious tolerance and moderation. In fact, he lays the blame for fanatics squarely at the feet of religious moderates, who conveniently read past troubling parts of dogma (read Deuteronomy and Leviticus) while accepting the exclusive claim to truth. Moderates "betray faith and reason equally". As a result we find it impossible to "speak plainly and truthfully about the state of our world – to say, for instance, that the Bible and Koran both contain mountains of life-destroying gibberish – is antithetical to tolerance as moderates conceive it".
The author states that we must get past these tolerant 'niceties' to assure our continued existence. Just how tolerant we must be of others' irrational beliefs should be considered in light of the deadly threat of the combination of modern weaponry and medieval belief that may allow fanatics with faith in the "metaphysics of martyrdom" to believe eternal delight awaits if only scores (or millions) of enemies meet death at their hands. Calling that insanity doesn't cut it. This is the illness of irrational belief, and it is a contagion we find throughout the world these days.
Challenging though this all is, we are not left hopeless. The author finishes the book with a compelling case for the benefits of personal growth grounded in the science of meditation. Without this we can only shake our heads at fanaticism. With this we can move in a rational, time-tested direction that we might call a "sacred path", recognizing the need for a deep inner life that leads to true satisfaction.
Let's leave with this challenge from Mr. Harris: "There is no doubt that these developments mark the terminal phase of our credulity. Words like 'God' and 'Allah' must go the way of 'Apollo' and 'Baal', or they will unmake our world."
– Reviewed by Jim Pedroja, atheist and meditator of 35 years

American Business at Its Best

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team became very discouraged and morally depressed. The American management decided the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Management Team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had eight people rowing and one person steering, while the American team had eight people steering and one person rowing. So American management hired a consulting company and paid them an incredible amount of money.

After six months of hard work, they advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. So the American Team acted: To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to four steering supervisors, three area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality-First Program," with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. Even new paddles and medical benefit incentives were promised for a winner. "We must give the rower the empowerment and enrichments through this quality program." The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.

The money saved was distributed to the senior executives as bonuses for a job well done.

Men's Teams

A new group will be forming in the Venice/Pacific Palisades area. For more info on joining and meeting times, contact Nick Rath at (310) 454-2965, or e-mail him at: nrath@adelphia.net

The West Hills Group is looking for a few Good Men. For more informationon the time and location of the next meeting, contact Mitch Cohen at (818) 343-0312, or e-mail him at freehand@earthlink.net

The ongoing eight-man San Fernando Valley team will meet again on Monday, December 10th. We are now up to eight men, and membership is closed for the present. If you'd like to get on the waiting list, call Ivor Weiner at (818) 268-1589, or e-mail him at: ivor.weiner@csun.edu.

The West Side men's Group meets every first Thursday of the month in addition to our required monthly gathering on the third Thursday of the month. For November, the West Side Men's Gathering will get together again on Thursday, December 1st as well as Thursday, the 15th at Demian Lichtenstein's. For more information or to join the group, call Mark Kreher at (310)581-6616 or e-mail him at: mark.kreher@verizon.net. You can also contact Demian at (310)901-5757 or e-mail him at Lightfilms@aol.com, and last but certainly not least, David Sacks at (323) 650-8239, or e-mail him at: dasacks@yahoo.com,

The Thousand Oaks/Calabasas Men's Circle is currently at capacity (8+ men), however, if you live near this geographic area and have an interest in participating in a men's group, contact Matthew at (818)774-1000, or e-mail him at: matthewburke@singerburke.com.

David "Stongbear" Myers is heading up a team in the San Gabriel Valley. If you're interested in joining, talk to Strongbear at (818)541-9499, or e-mail him at: dj0814myers@earthlink.net.

Lastly, a new group is forming in the Mountain View area of Northern California. Check on e-mail with the LA Men's Center for further info.

Important Web Links

SACRED WAYS, Andrew Soliz' organization dedicated to promoting growth and healing through traditional Native American teachings and ceremonies. To check on the latest events, ceremonies, sweatlodges, and other information, log on to www.sacred-ways.org. To contact Andrew directly, e-mail Andrew@sacred-ways.org.

ALBERT MARREWA, counselor, instructor of martial arts, consultant, lecturer, and workshop facilitator. Access Albert's web site at www.albertmarrewa.com for biographical information, lists of services, and calendar of events, or e-mail Albert directly at albertmarrewa@aol.com.

HIS SIDE, the weekly radio program on KTIE 940 AM hosted by Glenn Sacks. Go to www.hisside.com to find out about future programs, sign up for the weekly newsletter, listen live via streaming audio at 5 PM every Sunday, and contact Glenn directly.

MEN ALIVE, the web site hosted by Jed Diamond, psychologist, author, and speaker. Jed spoke at our first monthly gathering and again last November, outlining his new book, "The Irritable Male Syndrome: Managing the 4 Key Causes of Male Depression and Aggression". Go to: menalive-on@lists.mcn.org to receive Jed's weekly newsletter online, and contact Jed directly at: jed@menalive.com.

CHRISTO PELLANI, Sacred Path's Master Percussionist. Stay current with events featuring Christo and his friends by logging onto his web site: www.soundformation.com.

ED MUNTER, originator and star performer of Soul Journey. Find out about the latest performances of this soul-stirring experience, as well as CD ordering info and more about Ed himself. Log onto www.innerpathproductions.org

INTERFAITH INVENTIONS, an organization dedicated to enriching the lives of children and adults through programs that promote respect and understanding between people of diverse faiths. They are developing a national network of summer camps to bring together Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Native American, and other faiths' children to have fun and to form lasting relationships. The camp experience includes developing a relationship with the natural world around them; sharing family stories, food customs, drumming and music; exploring shared values of compassion, reconciliation and respect for others through sacred texts and stories from their traditions as well as art projects, games, camp fires, and informal play time. The summer program includes following up activities to help forge lasting relationships between the children and their communities. For more info on this highly worthwhile organization, contact Phil Dichter, President of Interfaith Inventions, at: www.interfaithinventions.org

CD's by Sacred Path Members Available

You can purchase the excellent CD's by Sacred Path brothers Ed Munter and Tommy Holmes.

Ed's CD's, Tracking Down the Soul and Soul Journey, are available at www.innerpathproductions.org

Tommy's self-titled album can be ordered from www.TommyHolmes.com.

Sacred Path Alumni Yahoo Group

What does Sacred Path do to support men after they have completed their retreats? The Sacred Path Alumni Discussion Group is one answer to that query. It provides a means for our community of men to have ongoing e-mail contact and discussions with their fellow Sacred Path Retreat graduates. Membership is restricted to graduates of a Sacred Path retreat. The simplest way to sign up is to send an e-mail (its content is irrelevant) to: Sacred_Path_Alumni-subscribe@Yahoo.groups.com. You can also join from the Sacred Path Alumni's home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sacredpathalumni.

Once you have become a member of the discussion group, you can begin using our Sacred Path Alumni Yahoo Group immediately. Members are able to use any or all of the following features:

  • Post a message
  • Create group polls
  • Invite others to join
  • Share files and photos
  • Create group calendars
  • View the archives (past postings)

When you join the group, please remember to use only lower-case letters and numbers in choosing your group ID name. Yahoo doesn't recognize capital letters!

Contribute to the Newsletter

Does your creativity need an outlet? Here's a chance for your unique words to appear on the printed page (or at least a computer screen)! Send us an article, an anecdote, a poem, a joke; whatever tickles your fancy. Please address your e-mails to Rich Manners at: jyngleman@sbcglobal.net. Bribes will be cheerfully accepted!

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