|
The Men's Center of Los Angeles
Beverly Hills/Woodland Hills
in Association with
Sacred Path Productions
Newsletter for February 2007
Voicemail: (818) 348-9302
Web Site: www.menscenterlosangeles.com
Contact: info@menscenterlosangeles.com
Our Mission:
"Bringing good men together and bringing out the best in
them"
Our Approach:
Helping develop a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment for
men by fostering vision, passion, authenticity and intimate connection
to self and others
Our Services:
Psychotherapy for individuals, families, and groups, as well as
our Sacred Path and Call to Adventure Retreats,
Workshops, Seminars, and Monthly Men's Gatherings
MAN
UP COLLOQUIUM HIGHLIGHTS GENTLE POWER
Discontinue
the Newsletter? You Tell Me!
IN THIS ISSUE:
A Message from the Director
Upcoming Events - Mark Your Calendar
- ManUp Colloquium II on Saturday, March 17, 2007
- 20th Annual Sacred Path/Call to Adventure Retreat April
19-22
- Ongoing Men's Groups
Discontinue the Newsletter? You Tell Me!
Rich Manners: Review of Premiere ManUp Colloquium
Fred Sugerman: One
Andy Rooney: Women Over 40
From the Daily Om: Considering Others
Recommended Reading: Discarded Science
Men's Teams
Important Web Links
CD's by Sacred Path Members Available
Contribute to the Newsletter
A Message from the Director -
Dr. Stephen Johnson
 Saturday,
February 3, 2007
On Saturday, January 20th, twenty men assembled at the Courtyard
Marriott Hotel in Sherman Oaks for an interactive Colloquium
on men's issues. I indicated that I had conceived the event
to be a meeting with remarkable men. One of the men wrote to
me expressing that he became aware that he had participated
in a "Court of Kings." I have spoken to most of the
participants, and have taken in their reflections and comments
regarding their experiences. The general consensus was that
each man was truly in the company of other good men. I was struck
by how many of the men indicated that they left the event feeling
a heightened sense of gratitude for their lives. Not necessarily
because they compared themselves to others and felt better than,
but because they felt like they weren't alone and were in the
presence of other stalwart men that are dealing with similar
life challenges. It was apparent that everyone had something
that they were contending with, like a health issue, relationship
and intimacy crisis, concerns around career, retirement, or
dealing with growing older and facing mortality.
I had previously written a statement in the description of
how I saw the day unfolding: "Men tend to ride the horse
named Longing for the journey that takes us up as we climb the
mountain to the summit and then head down the other side through
the narrow passageway as we move into our elder years. We'll
discuss what we learn from traversing the Path of Ascent and
Descent." General anxiety about age and the passage of
time was indeed a topic of discussion. One of the men in his
early forties told me that it profoundly affected him to hear
the older men in their 60's talk about how they are dealing
with aging and facing mortality. He said, "I never consider
that. I'm too busy thinking about my work, my marriage, my children
and other responsibilities. I have other anxieties." The
older men shared the wisdom gained from their own life experiences
as they too had dealt with many of the same concerns that the
younger men are confronting.
It's been my experience that things start taking on a trajectory
and pulling one forward in a certain direction. Then at some
point you sit back and examine what you are doing, and it can
be anxiety-producing. There are many ways that people are trying
to stave off time. Men shared about their coping mechanisms.
Some of them seem to be working well and others not so well;
however, many men left the event with a renewed sense of how
they wanted to redirect the focus of their concerns and reduce
the stress that leads to depression and anxiety. There was enthusiastic
interest in sharing about the discoveries that men have learned
that have enhanced the quality of their lifestyles.
I came across an article that I read after the Colloquium
about a book, titled Leap! What Will We Do With The Rest
of Our Lives? (Random House), dealing with what the author,
Sara Davidson, refers to as The Narrows; that time in
a person's life when things become really hard before they get
easier. She interviewed numerous people, including Carly Simon,
Tom Hayden and Ram Dass, who ran up against tough challenges
as they moved into their elder years. She wrote about how they
came to grips with their problems and saw them as opportunities
in disguise. They found new ways to redirect their lives and
live their destinies to the fullest. I'm personally looking
forward to reading this book.
I was pleased with the level of candor and honesty expressed
by the men. It seemed that any tendency to judge oneself or
others harshly was buffered with empathy, understanding and
compassion. The humor helped to punctuate the more serious aspects
of the day. A little levity goes a long way. I heard from many
that they returned home with an openness and loving attitude
that they shared with loved ones.
The challenges that men confront within their primary relationships,
as well as relationships in general, became the main thrust
of the afternoon discussion in Council format. Relationship
struggles do seem to dominate men's lives and, though some may
not have received all the answers to their dilemmas, I was told
that a number of men left with a more focused sense of clarity
about what needed to be done to put their lives back in balance.
One man remarked that he awakened to a clearer understanding
of what integrity really means and what he needed to do to bring
his life into greater alignment.
There are some changes that I will put in place for the next
Colloquium. The age range of the men in attendance at the last
one was 38-71, so after lunch we'll form three discussion groups
based on age (for example it might look like this: 38-48, 49-59
and 60 and above). After the afternoon break we'll conclude
the day with bringing the whole group back together to review
the topics of discussion and work with the suggestions and potential
solutions to dealing with the challenges confronting the men.
Most of the men I spoke with indicated a desire to attend
more one-day gatherings. There were a few men who had registered
and couldn't attend the other day. There were also men who had
wanted to attend and could not due to schedule conflicts. I
am planning to facilitate another Colloquium on Saturday, March
17th, St. Patrick's Day. It will be held at the Courtyard Marriott
again. I created these one-day events to be user-friendly introductions
to the work that we're doing at our 4-day retreats. We will
hold the group size to 20 since that seemed to work well. If
you're interested in participating in the next Colloquium, review
the information below and let me know soon. The last event enrolled
quickly.
We have finalized the newly revised flier for the April 19
through 22 Sacred Path/Call to Adventure Rites of Passage Retreat
for men and boys. It will go to the printer on Monday and be
ready to be mailed out by the end of the week. The new information
and registration form is also up on the web site (www.menscenterlosangeles.com)
and can be accessed by navigating to the Events page and printing
out the PDF. At our last Wisdom Council the staff expressed
enthusiastic suggestions concerning some changes to the format
of the retreat. As a result it was decided not to conduct a
ropes course for this upcoming retreat. A committee of men has
banded together to create some new and challenging processes
in lieu of the ropes course. Playing off of the success of the
October retreat, which resulted from the shape shifts of the
format, the staff is very excited about the opportunity to experiment
with the format for the April retreat.
Andrew Soliz will be pouring water for us as we enter the Stone
People's Lodge to contact ourselves at a deeper level. I encourage
you to register early for this retreat. Take advantage of the
early bird and returning participant discounted rates and invite
friends and family members to join you. Once again we are offering
substantial first time participant discounts. Please favorably
consider donating to our scholarship fund. We will be offering
the retreat to boys and their mentors from the inner city. Your
financial support allows us to provide the needed scholarships
to a number of youth in need. Thank you for your generosity.
I look forward to seeing you on the Mountain in April and perhaps
at the next Colloquium.
In brotherhood,
Stephen
To learn more about the Executive Director of the Los Angeles
Men's Center and Sacred Path Productions, go to: www.drstephenjohnson.com
Upcoming Events - Mark Your Calendar
ManUp Colloquium
II on Saturday, March 17, 2007.
As a result of the great success of January's event, a second
colloquium for men will be held at the Marriott Courtyard
Hotel in Sherman Oaks on Saturday, March 3. It will be led
by Dr. Stephen Johnson and will deal with pertinent issues
in men's lives,including relationships, aging, sexuality,
intimacy, anger, longing and other subjects of import. Morning
and afternoon snacks will be served along with a variety of
choices for lunch. Once again, the group will be limited to
20 men, so reserve your space early. The cost for the day
is $150 including meals.For more information, contact Rich
Manners at (818) 888-8852 or
jyngleman@sbcglobal.net. If you use e-mail, make sure
you use" Colloquium" in the subject bar. He can
take your credit card info and reserve your spot. You can
also click on the "Events" page on the LAMC web
site and download the PDF application/Flier.
20th Annual Sacred
Path/Call to Adventure Retreat April 19-22
This spring brings with it the 20th annual Sacred Path Retreat
for men and boys.Ê The Call to Adventure Rites of Passage
Retreat for young men and their fathers or mentors also welcomes
men who would like to connect with themselves through the
experience of interacting with the young fellas.Ê I have found
that men are more easily able to make contact with the boy
they carry around inside them when they are in the presence
of the younger men.Ê All men and youth from age 12 and up
are invited to participate in this Call to Adventure.Ê It
will include ample opportunities for interactive communication
through Tribe, Clan, full community gatherings and the chance
to connect with individuals informally.Ê There will be safe,
fun and challenging acitivities that will allow you to push
your edge and come away invigorated with an uplifting sense
of vitality.Ê We anticipate that we will have a community
comprised of 100 or more, including our Wisdom Council Staff
of 20.Ê There will be breakout sessions for the boys and opportunities
for the older men to gather to explore issues specific to
them.Ê Perhaps, the boys and men will choose to witness the
deep work that each is doing in their breakout sessions.Ê
We will provide an array of experiences for all. Many of the
men from the Fall Retreat haveÊ indicated that they are bringing
new men and youthÊ to this next retreat.Ê We encourage you
to enroll early to take advantage of the discounts.Ê Visit
the web site www.menscenterlosangeles.com
to view the videos, read the Call To Adventure newsletter
and print out the registration form.Ê Brochures will be mailed
next week.Ê Come celebrate our 20th anniversary of Sacred
Path Men's Retreats and join with your brothers for an exceptional
experience on the Mountain.
Weekly Men's Groups
are available in Woodland Hills and Beverly Hills. Both Stephen
Johnson and Dan Franklin have room available in their weekly
therapeutic support groups held in Beverly Hills and Woodland
Hills. More information at: info@menscenterlosangeles.com
Discontinue the Newsletter?
You Tell Me!
In conversations with some of the LAMC brothers this month,
it has come to the attention of the editor that many of them
do not read the newsletter. Various reasons were cited, from
not having enough time to too much material being included
in the monthly issues. Since the newsletter is here to serve
the LAMC/Sacred Path community, we would appreciate your feedback
on what you think - whether to keep it as is, whether to trim
down the size of the newsletter, which articles to include
and which to cut, or whether we should eliminate it altogether.
We would appreciate your feedback. Please drop a line in a
return e-mail to Rich Manners at
jyngleman@sbcglobal.net and put "newsletter"
in the subject bar. Thanks for your help.
Rich Manners: Review of Premiere
ManUp Colloquium
 On
January 20th, I was fortunate enough to be among a remarkable
group of men coming together to share their wealth of life experience.
I have seldom, if ever, been in a room where so many powerful
individuals spoke and listened in love, cooperation, and trust.
The men's ages ranged from late thirties to early seventies,
and their professional experience and success was mind-blowing.
A gamut of subjects was examined, from careers to relationships
to integrity, spirituality, religion, aging and death. One of
the common attitudes that affected me most was the sense of
humor that permeated much of the conversation, even at the most
serious and pain-filled times. I believe that the men had learned
the value of filtering life through a humor-lens to help accept
fate's little (and king-sized) foibles with grace and dignity.
The day went by far too quickly, and there was much more to
be said and absorbed than we had time for. Many of the men expressed
a feeling of great accomplishment as well as a desire to attend
more of these events. As a result, the ManUp Colloquium II will
be held on March 17th.
It astounds me how I can be so critical, analytical, judgemental;
so put off, repulsed, brought to feeling less than or more
often,
more than, the people I see walking into Starbucks or sitting
behind a driver's seat in traffic that is slow enough to take
in the Human Scenery
Human Scenery
The Human Scenery
The Human Scenery is so unattractive. Unavailable.
Sharp. Static. Held in. and held back.
Held Tight
But then in a class in a workshop,.in my home or in a friend's
home I Thank God for Love. For Contact
for the Beauty and the
Heart
for the Heat
and the Sound of Kind Words,
excited sharing, intimate fear, sadness, confusion.
Vunerable surrender to Despair.
I am Fed. Awakened. Heightened. Relieved.
Brought Back to Reason to Live.
What is this juxtaposition?
This juxtaposition.
This juxtaposition?
How can I
Despise my race, my Species my fellow Human Beings for Being
so Human.
Being
Being Being
so Human Being.
How can I crumble to Tears
Desire the taste of Others' Breath A swim in
their Sweat a dream in
their words a tent constructed of
their warm bedroom sheets----
How can I love so fiercely and
Hate so thoroughly
A Love so Fierce
A Hate so thorough
All at once One at a time
once and time time at once
once. One One
One.
Andy Rooney: Women Over 40
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most
of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will
never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are
you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over
40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining
about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually
more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have
a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of
an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they
won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away
with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.
They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic
as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman
over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40
is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are
forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are
a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to
wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40
for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.
For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40,
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool
of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get
the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%
of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's
not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
From the Daily Om: Considering
Others
Reaffirming Our Integrity
Every thought we think and every action we take
has an effect on the world around us. To be aware of this is
to be conscious of our impact on the people in our lives. Sometimes
we just want to do what we want to do, but considering the full
ramifications of our actions can be an important part of our
spiritual growth and awareness. At first, being more conscious
requires effort, but once we have made it a habit, it becomes
second nature. The more we practice this awareness of others,
the more we find ourselves in easy alignment with our integrity.
Our thoughts are an important place to begin this
practice because our thoughts are the seeds of our actions.
It is not necessary or beneficial to obsessively monitor all
our thoughts, but we can perhaps choose one thought or action
per day and simply notice if we are in alignment with this experience
of integrity. For example, we may find ourselves replaying a
negative encounter with someone in our minds. We may think that
this doesn't affect the person about whom we are thinking, but
the laws of energy tell us that it does. When we hold someone
negatively in our minds, we risk trapping them in negativity.
If we were this person, we might wish for forgiveness and release.
We can offer this by simply letting go of the negative thought
and replacing it with a wish for healing on that person's behalf.
With regard to our actions, we may have something
difficult to express to someone. Taking the time to consider
how we would feel if we were in his or her shoes will enable
us to communicate more sensitively than we would if we just
expressed ourselves from our own perspective. When we modify
our approach by taking someone else's feelings into account,
we bring benefit to that person and ourselves equally. The more
we do this, the more we reaffirm our integrity and the integrity
of our relationship to the world.
Recommended Reading: Discarded
Science
Sacred Path members can send in their
own reviews and recommendations of personal favorites, whether
they be novels, poetry, short stories, or nonfiction dealing
with men's work, essays, anecdotes, sources of inspiration,
etc. Each review could include a short blurb on the author,
or perhaps a short piece taken from the work. Send your favorite
reads to Rich Manners at:
jyngleman@sbcglobal.net
Discarded Science
by John Grant
320 pages
"In Voliva's (1870-1942) cosmology,
the North Pole lay at the center of a disc whose circumference
is the southern 'pole'. Beyond the rim was Hades, but luckily
there was a wall of ice (i.e. Antarctica) to stop mariners
from sailing over the edge. Voliva's flat Earth was motionless
in space, with the Sun (small and nearby) and the stars
revolving around it. The proof of the Earth's motionlessness
was easy to come by: if the Earth were moving at great speed
we should all be bowled over by colossal winds, as the atmosphere
was 'left behind'".
- John Grant
It's difficult to think that the theory above
was fashioned by a man who was alive only 65 years ago,
but this and even more outrageous scientific "principles"
were forwarded by scientists since the early days of the
Greeks.
John Grant's Discarded Science is a
fascinating and wide-ranging guide to scientific ideas which
were once popular but have since been disproved or superseded.
The book is an erudite but delightfully readable trawl through
ideas that seemed plausible, at least to some, but turned
out to be hilarious at best and disastrous at worst. Written
by an expert for everyone intrigued by the history of scientific
thinking and the evolution of ideas and theories, it contains
research from the worlds of medicine, geology, biology,
chemistry and much more, including flat earth, hollow earth,
lost worlds and bizarre ideas about evolution; alchemy,
aliens, humors and homunculi; frozen heads, phrenology,
focal sepsis (don't ask) and ufology.
Another example: "Masturbation was
a real sin. One popular Victorian theory was that a man
could discharge only so much semen during his lifetime.
The theory was used by doctors and laymen alike to frighten
boys away from self-abuse. Worse things than running out
of semen could happen, and in the shorter term. Fowler tells
us: 'Victims of self-abuse have pallid, bloodless countenances,
hollow, sunken and half-ghastly eyes, with a red rim around
the eyelids, and black-and-blue semicircles around the eyes.
Red pimples on the face with a black spot in their middle,
are a sure sign of self-pollution in males, and irregularities
in females....'"
Turn to any page and you will be fascinated,
titillated and/or horrified at what the minds of seemingly
intelligent humans are capable of fashioning. I could not
put this book down!
– Rich Manners
A new group will be forming in the Venice/Pacific Palisades
area. For more info on joining and meeting times, contact Nick
Rath at (310) 454-2965, or e-mail him at: nrath@adelphia.net
The West Hills Group is now filled to
capacity. For those interested in adding their names to the
wait list, contact Ross Avery at (818) 762-5022, or e-mail him
at rossandarlyn@sbcglobal.net
The West Side Men's Group is now filled to capacity. For
those interested in adding their names to the wait list, contact
Mark Kreher at (310) 581-6616 or e-mail him at: mark.kreher@verizon.net.
You can also contact David Sacks at (323) 369-3344, or e-mail
him at: sacks.d@gmail.com
The Thousand Oaks/Calabasas Men's Circle is currently meeting
monthly. If you live near this geographic area and have an interest
in participating in a men's group, contact Matthew Burke at
(818)774-1000, or e-mail him at: matthewburke@singerburke.com
for more information.
David "Stongbear" Myers is heading up a team in the
San Gabriel Valley. If you're interested in joining, talk to
Strongbear at (818)541-9499, or e-mail him at: strongbear46@msn.com
Important Web Links
The LAMC web site now has a page dedicated to links to various
individuals and organizations who may be of assistance to members.
You'll find therapists, counselors, authors, realtors, health
resources, men's issues resources, assistance in fathering,
musicians, Native American and interfaith teachings, ceremonies
and camps,mid-life issues resources, and a lot more. If you're
reading the newsletter on a PDF file, simply paste this link
into your web browser to go to the Links page: www.menscenterlosangeles.com/links.html
CD's by Sacred Path Members Available
You can purchase the excellent CD's by Sacred Path brothers
Ed Munter, Tommy Holmes, Christo Pellani, Rich Manners
and Albert Marrewa.
Ed's CD's, Tracking Down the Soul and Soul Journey,
are available at www.innerpathproductions.org
Tommy's self-titled album can be ordered from www.TommyHolmes.com.
Christo's second album, Soundscape Pyramids – Resonance
Forms, is available at info@soundformation.com
Rich's CD, Speechless, featuring the voices of Mimi
Manners, is available at jyngleman@sbcglobal.net
Albert's Relaxing Into Now is available at www.albertmarrewa.com
In addition, talks by the Director of the L.A. Men's Center,
Dr. Stephen Johnson, are available on the LA Men's Center web
site, as well as several CD sets of past retreats. Go to
www.menscenterlosangeles.com
Contribute to the Newsletter
Does your creativity need an outlet? Here's a chance for your
unique words to appear on the printed page (or at least a computer
screen)! Send us an article, an anecdote, a poem, a joke; whatever
tickles your fancy. Please address your e-mails to Rich Manners
at: jyngleman@sbcglobal.net.
Bribes will be cheerfully accepted!
[return to archives
main page]
|
