"Orchestrating Success in Your Life

Ray Bunch, Phillip Jennings, Dr. Bill Flaxman and Dr. Pierre Grimes



Dr. Bill Flaxman



Orchestrating Success in Your Life

Self-managing difficult or uncomfortable emotions and problem behaviors that arise from challenging health-related, work-related, or personal relationship situations that men face

by William Flaxman, PhD, MFT




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William Flaxman, PhD, MFT, has for more than 40 years been guiding individuals, families, and couples in conflict or crisis learn as quickly as possible how to transition from instability to security by their learning how to self-manage the various challenges that life throws at us.  When in distress at facing personal difficulties, people may sometimes behave reactively in ways that worsen the situation, or they may self-medicate the feeling of distress with drugs or alcohol, which adds an additional addictive component without resolving the real underlying problems.  Successfully solving life-crises requires integrated thinking & behavior to achieve the desirable satisfying shift in emotional feeling.  Bill is the author of "Substance Use as a Function of Mood-Related Consciousness Alteration" which integrates the work of more than 50 "addiction" and "consciousness" researchers, demonstrating the differences between "normal" or "benign substance use" vs misuse, abuse, and addiction.  Bill is a past president of the Group Psychotherapy Association of Southern California and a member of the MCLA Wisdom Council.

Director's Message: August, 2017

AUGUST, 2017

Greetings Sacred Path Community,

If you find your spirits sagging some due to the waning days of summer, remind yourself that the start of football season is just around the corner. I often hear people make that comment with a tone of enthusiasm and excitement. And, as an avid USC fan, I’m up on my toes about our season ahead. It is important to have something to look forward to; but, even if football isn't your thing, I’ll offer something else to get you into anticipation mode.

It is that our 31st Annual Sacred Path Men’s Retreat is just two and a half months away and we’re putting the finishing touches on a program that is going to be fantastic. Whether you’re a football fan or not, this retreat will be a touchdown in more ways than one.

First of all, it’s another opportunity for you to be with the great men that you’ve come to know over the years, if you’ve been attending for years. If you’re new to this and contemplating whether to attend for the first time, I can assure you that you’ll be in the company of some of the most remarkable men that you’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know. Participants will fly and drive in from all parts of the country. For somewhere upwards of 100 times we will once again create a village, where we will do our work to plumb the depths of our Psyches, search our Souls, and share with each other what it means to explore conscious masculinity in the service of Mindful Manhood.

The theme of the upcoming retreat is The World We Live in Today:  From Surviving to Thriving. I frequently hear people express that they feel overwhelmed with the challenges that they face on a day to day basis. I hear people express dismay about the many issues that they are confronted with and that the one word that they wish they had more of is RELIEF. 


We all know something about SURVIVAL.  Perhaps our lives were actually on the line at one time or another in which we weren’t sure if we would actually survive or perish.  Maybe we feel that we’re in constant survival just from trying to hang on and not go down and out financially, or health wise, or due to a relationship that’s not doing well, or our lagging career issues. 

How much do we know about what it means to THRIVE?  During the upcoming October 19-22 retreat you will have the opportunity to hear from presenters who will share their experience on a variety of topics central to the theme of the retreat. For example, we will have three separate Breakout Sessions on three pertinent areas of relationships. As those of you know, who have been with us before, our retreats are grounded in experiential processes.

We believe that true knowledge is gained through having experiences that are primary teaching tools that educate us about life and living. More than acquiring a set of external beliefs, we encourage people to put themselves in safe experiences that allow for internal awarenesses to arise that foster the incorporation of reality based knowledge. We further encourage you to use what you know with purposeful intention to uplevel your lifestyle.

In addition to the gathering of men who have been the life force of our community, we are inviting Veterans and First Responders to join us. We are tailoring some elements of our program to be well-suited to support these men who have put their lives on the line for us. Some may carry the scar tissue of the wounds that they have incurred in the line of service. We offer a safe harbor for them to be able to work through whatever needs attention and healing. 

Some of the First Responders who will join us are the valiant LA County firefighters who serve and have served so selflessly. Captain Michael Henry, CEO of Firefighters Down Organization will be with us along with some of his men. There will be a fundraising concert to be held on the auspicious date of September 11th at Pepperdine University. I have been invited to offer a brief presentation on PTSD and what can be done to make a positive difference to give back to someone who has suffered in the line of duty. I invite you to attend the concert in support of the cause and as a great way to build the momentum for our upcoming retreat.

Bill Arena is putting together the information about our program. You can read in this newsletter initial elements of the framework (click here) that will serve as the scaffolding structure for what will be created on The Mountain. I encourage you to take advantage of the early enrollment discounts.  If you know that you’re participating, please sign up early.  Help us build the momentum. It puts wind in our sails when we experience the registration process commencing early and building from there. Consider bringing a family member and/or a friend with you.  Share the event with someone you love.

In the spirit of thriving, enjoy the remaining weeks of summer,


Stephen J. Johnson Ph.D., LMFT
Executive Director





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Dr. Stephen Johnson is founder and executive director of the Men's Center Los Angeles and leader/wayshower of the Sacred Path men's retreats for the past 30 years. He is a gifted therapist and master facilitator for the experiential journey that unfolds during his counseling sessions and workshops. Dr. J is a skilled and seasoned psychotherapist who has the sensibilities of a wisdom teacher. He provides a safe space for freedom of expression in accessing one’s pain while fostering transformation, personal expansion and spiritual growth. Click here to visit www.DrStephenJohnson.com




Dr. Johnson is author of "THE SACRED PATH: THE WAY OF THE SPIRITUAL WARRIOR," an amazing how-to book for men who want to become better men . . . AND for the women who care about them.




The MCLA Wisdom Council honored Dr. J's amazing 30 years of mindful men leadership and mentorship with a special commemorative film that debuted on the mountain at the recent 30th Annual Sacred Path Men's Retreat. Click here to view "The Sacred Path."  

Fall 2017 Sacred Path Men's Retreat

by Bill Arena
MCLA Wisdom Council

Our 31st Annual Sacred Path Men's Retreat begins Thursday, October 19, and adjourns Sunday, October 22, high on the mountainside overlooking Malibu and the Pacific Ocean. It is the perfect time and place for men to recharge their batteries, to examine what's truly important in life, and share the good energy and positive male companionship of other good men on the path.


"The Spiritual Psychology of Mindful Manhood"

Our very own Dr. Stephen Johnson, founder and wayshower of the Sacred Path retreats for the past 31 years, kicks off our program with "The Spiritual Psychology of Mindful Manhood."

Click here for MCLA'a tribute video to Dr. J entitled "The Sacred Path."




"Sacred Breathing"

John Mafrici and Dr. Johnson will co-facilitate Sacred Breathing Session.



"The Betrayal of the Self
and Power of Dreamwork"

Internationally-acclaimed philosopher and master teacher Pierre Grimes has been hailed as "A true Jnana Yogi" and "The only living Platonist on Earth" among many other descriptive superlatives. Come learn from a true master.
Click here for details.

"From Stress to Strength
. . . through Meditation"

Nick Stein will facilitate a breakout session on Mindfulness Skills and explain the best, most practical methods for enjoying the phenomenal benefits of meditation. 
Click here for details.




"MEN'S HEALTH & Hazards"

Dr. Michael Lewis will share some shocking facts about men's healthcare and things you can do right away to live a strong, healthy lifestyle.



"Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT)"

Presentation by Dr. Stephen Vasquez or Mitch Roth introducing this life-changing, non-invasive, non-pharmaceutical approach combining traditional psychotherapy with the use of visual brain stimulation and colored light therapy for fast results.
Click here for details.





Frederick Marx will discuss his new film about the terrible challenges facing veterans today as well as his personal Buddhist approach to living a good life.
Click here for details.


"PTSD & Firefighters Down"

Clyde Terry & Mike Henry will share the challenges faced by military people and first responders and the common traits of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). MCLA is a proud supporter of FireFighters Down and supports the amazing, healing work of this local organization. Click here for details.




International Master Musicians Winter Lazerus & Christo Pellani will team up for some other-worldly musical meditative journeys to enhance the mind, body and spirit. Click here for details.



"Monster Relationships"

Rod Louden will share insights about positive relationships beneficial to all men in all walks of life.
Click here for details.



"Orchestrating success in your life"

Dr. Bill Flaxman will explain how to self-manage difficult or uncomfortable emotions and problem behaviors that arise from challenging health-related, work related, or personal relationship situations that men face.
Click here for details.




*  John Mafrici:  "Tango"

*  Rob Bruce: "Emotional Release Work"

*  Ray Bunch

*  Artwan Green


The 31st Annual Sacred Path Men’s Retreat will be an excellent opportunity for good men to withdraw from the typical pressure and constant challenges and unrelenting drive for success in the modern world.

Go ahead. Be bold. Take a few days for yourself to relax and regroup and go inward and connect with your higher self. When you join us on the mountain you'll experience the profound peacefulness and energetic bliss of being part of a tribe of good men. You'll feel such power and peace and joy. The Sacred Path men's retreats have been called "life-changing" and "extremely positive." You deserve a break. Come join us.

Life is short. Go ahead. Reserve some time for yourself in the presence of other great men. Come join us on the mountain in October. Click here to register today.



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Click here to register for MCLA's Sacred Path Fall Men's Retreat


BILL ARENA lives in the east bay San Francisco. He's an MCLA Wisdom Council member and Sundancer / Pipe carrier in the Lakota Sioux spiritual tradition. Other articles include: “The Lakota Sundance Prayer Ceremony" and "Mni Wiconi: “The Sacred Stand at Standing Rock”  Contact him at ArenaCreativeGroup.com

"THE TRUE NATURE OF REALITY" on the Mountain October 19-22

Philosopher and teacher Pierre Grimes has been hailed as "A true Jnana Yogi" and "The only living Platonist on Earth" among many other descriptive superlatives.

The True Nature of Reality

Our very own Pierre Grimes will be returning as a distinguished special guest presenter at the 31st Annual Sacred Path Men's Retreat on the mountain overlooking Malibu and the Pacific Ocean on October 19-22. 

Retreat participants will have the incredibly rare and profoundly unique opportunity to work within intimate group settings with Pierre as he explores the True Nature of Reality using Individual Dreams, Dialectic Conversation and Group Discourse. This is indeed a rare and deeply engaging experience for all who attend.

Pierre will be exploring a revolutionary new area of his life's work, dealing with the original and lost meaning of the concept of “Self" in Plato. PIerre is calling this - The Betrayal of the Self:

1.  The “recovery" from the betrayal of the Self, in all translations of Platonic philosophy, now ends the view of philosophy as being void of any personal and meaningful message for us.  This new “revival” of understanding Self, is capable of turning about our culture to a path that, while ancient, is most necessary and essential to our contemporary life.

2.  The exploration of the Self in Plato’s Parmenides is a journey into the spiritual significance of the logos.  What was once thought of as too obscure and difficult will be shown to be obvious yet profound.  

3.  Plotinus will be presented as a doorway into the personal side of Platonic philosophy, and will be explored in terms of the idea of the Self. 

4.  The quest for personal excellence necessarily leads to the discovery of hidden false views of the Self that block all attempts at securing one’s goals.

5.  The exploration of Philosophical Midwifery and its implications as a new paradigm for understanding human problems.


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A Little in Love With Death:
My Healing Encounter with Pierre Grimes

By Jed Diamond
MCLA News October 29, 2016

I attended the 4-Day Sacred Path Men’s Retreat to recognize and support Dr. Stephen Johnson’s life and work and pay tribute to the men who have made possible these retreats over the last 30 years. I had never heard of Pierre Grimes, knew little about philosophy, and next to nothing about the Greek philosophers. Yet I know when I’m in the presence of a master and took Pierre up on his offer to work through a dream and a daydream I had. I had no idea it would change my life.

Click here to read Jed's personal healing encounter with Pierre Grimes

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Pierre Grimes, Ph.D, is one of a kind. Enlisting in the Army as a teenager in World War II, he volunteered for service as a paratrooper but ended up being sent as a replacement to the 36th Texas Infantry Division. He was sent to Europe and landed on D-Day in Southern France for the Anzio invasion. Pierre quickly was chosen to be a scout and then led troops from Italy, through France and all the way into Germany where he saw the liberation of two concentration camps. He was awarded a Bronze Star with an Oak Leaf Cluster and a Purple Heart in recognition of his bravery in battle and his unit received two Presidential Citations for heroism.

Pierre's leadership and gifts in the area of Transformative Consciousness work are legend. He was a friend of Joseph Campbell who directed the young Pierre, having returned from WWII to "Go west and start working with this brilliant man in San Francisco named Alan Watts.

Pierre listened to Campbell's wise advice and became a right hand co-creator with Alan Watts in his work in the fields of emerging Consciousness Studies on the west coast.


In his famous autobiography, “In My Own Way," Watts wrote that Pierre is, "A true Jnana Yogi” for his brilliant work using Plato and Philosophy as a means for healing. Pierre’s friend, Huston Smith, calls Pierre, “The only living Platonist on Earth.”


Pierre is a deeply engaging speaker and his group work with Dreams is legend. He is playful and a bit of a cartoonist with a white board or chalk board, drawing all that he is discoursing about or the complete scenes from someone’s dreams. 



Pierre is the author of many influential books and publications including

Philosophical Midwifery: A New Paradigm for Understanding Human Problems With Its Validation






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Master Musicians Winter Lazerus & Christo Pellani Return to Malibu


Multimedia Soundformation Sacred Journey Comes to the Mountain


MCLA is proud and pleased to welcome back our very own Christo Karam Pellani to facilitate his amazing style of Mindfulness Meditation for Sacred Path Men’s Retreat participants on the mountain this October.

Christo facilitates human potential through experiences blending rhythm, sound, and movement therapies for personal expression, growth and well being. He is recognized internationally as an expressive therapist, master drummer, rhythm awareness drum circle facilitator, healing arts educator and practitioner, teaching artist, and seminar facilitator.

He is the creator of SOUNDFORMATION MUSIC™, specializing in quality expressive and healing arts services for schools, retreats, and conferences through unique experiential classes, seminars, ceremonies, and play-shops. 

Christo is also the author of “LIVING ADVENTURES THROUGH SOUND™", a unique interactive sound healing curriculum, and he holds a residency as a certified Qi Gong and Sound and Vibration healing instructor for the Tama-Do Academy, California Academy for the Healing Arts and LIVE Yoga/ Wellness. 

As a recording artist, he produced four critically acclaimed “Soundscape Pyramids” world/ambient, therapeutic sound meditation recordings on his SOUNDFORMATION label. His collaboration with Stevin McNamara has resulted in several World Ambient recordings for the White Swan and Putumayo labels. 

Christo has performed Internationally with many top artists in the Pop, Sacred Music, and Kirtan arenas, including Air Supply, Mary Wells, Fabien Maman, & The Breath of Life Tribe, among many others.

He is a featured performer at Disneyland, various Consciousness festivals Including The World Festival of Sacred Music, Bhakti Fest, Esalen, and with “UDAYA LIVE, “ a streaming series of Yoga Classes and live Concerts based in Sofia Bulgaria.

He has also performed with the esteemed LUNA NEGRA ballet, and many dance companies internationally, and  with "The BEATLES YOGA", a multi media concert based on the book American Veda.

Christo has been traveling the world in the past year conducting seminars in Hawaii, Tahiti, India, Bali, Mexico, Costa Rica, China, Brazil, Europe and North America, emphasizing principles of Mindfulness Meditation. He has been a principle Sound Healing associate and consultant with the New Century Foundation in various locations throughout China, and with the RYTHMIA Life Enhancement Center in Costa Rica.

Christo also serves at risk and orphaned youth, adults with disabilities and a variety of people as an expressive therapist, through many counseling and therapeutic recreation programs and non-profit organizations besides MCLA including The Rhythmic Arts Project, Mi Star, Hearts Giving Hope, Camp to Belong and others.

Accompanying Christo in presentation of this unique multimedia meditation extravaganza will be Winter Lazerus, a Grammy-nominated, 12-time multi-gold and platinum award-winning record producer, composer, artist, musician, and mastering/mix engineer. His early work includes the recording of Donald Fagen’s “The Nightfly” which was nominated for seven Grammy Awards. He has worked with diverse artists such as Micheal Jackson, Martin Scorsese, Pink Floyd and Clint Eastwood.

Winter Lazerus

Winter works out of his studio in Beachwood Canyon, Voice of the Silence, and hosts innovative art, consciousness and community events at Besant Lodge. He has worked globally on creative projects from Manhattan to Paris, Iceland to Ireland. His current focus involves Virtual Reality, Immersive Domes and Augmented Reality. He has a Master's degree in Consciousness Studies and is currently completing a novel, a song-cycle, an opera, and a biography about his struggle and success in understanding and resolving a life-long condition called Hashimoto’s Disease.

NORDIC SONIC EXPRESSION:  Winter just recently returned from three months in Europe/Norway working on a new neo-operatic commission there. He’s composing one live piece for a performance in Vevring Fjord designed for people on ships in the fjord (in 2018) and has received permission to compose using this incredible instrument, created by artists in Norway, called a Desibel. It’s the largest mobile speaker in the world. Winter did a test run with it a few weeks ago and explained “It sounds seriously badass. Incredible sonic expression.”


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The 31st Annual Sacred Path Men’s Retreat will be an excellent opportunity for good men to withdraw from the typical pressure and constant challenges and unrelenting drive for success in the modern world.

Go ahead. Be bold. Take a few days for yourself to relax and regroup and go inward and connect with your higher self. When you join us on the mountain you'll experience the profound peacefulness and energetic bliss of a guided meditation facilitated by our very own Christo Pellani and Winter Lazerus. These meditations have been called "life-changing" and "extremely positive" especially by some "type A" macho man personalities who constantly work and never take a break.

Life is short. Go ahead. Reserve some time for yourself in the presence of other great men. You deserve a break. Come join us on the mountain. Click here to register today.



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Click here to register for the 2017 MCLA Sacred Path Men's Retreat

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MCLA's 31st Annual Autumn Sacred Path Men's Retreat will be held high up on the mountain overlooking Malibu October 19-22. This will be an incredible event with some amazing men. Don't miss it. Click here to register now.




Veterans Journey Home



"Veterans Journey Home"

Veterans Journey Home is a one-hour program for TV produced by Warrior Films and Frederick Marx that tells the story of the 1.7 million returning U.S. veterans and what it takes for them to successfully transition back into civilian life. Whether officially diagnosed with PTSD or not, most vets carry the psychic scars of “moral injury” and will carry the battle within long after the bullets stop flying.

Our special guest presenter at this Fall's Sacred Path Men's Retreat will be Frederick Marx who will explain the shocking statistics and real-life challenges faced by U.S. veterans returning from active duty.

Frederick's film poses the question: How can these returning veterans be “re-civilianized” through trainings that are as effective as the ones that first turned them into soldiers? And what might that do for the 250,000 now in prisons? The 500,000 who are homeless? The 350,000 who are unemployed? What about for the 22 who commit suicide every day?


"What I know is that we are our brother’s keepers, and none of us are going to get out of “this” unless all of us get out of “this” – and your film is all about that….taking the shadow off the shoulders of the soldier and bringing that shadow back into our communities and country where we can all hold it together, share the burden, and walk it into the light."
            — Barbara Whiteside Crary

This powerful film will show how these veterans can be healed and maybe even saved. Watch Frederick’s recent public talk here. Read his veterans blogs here.



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Click here to learn more about "Veterans Journey Home"

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Warrior Films
“Bearing Witness,
  Creating Change”

Rakasu: the boy formerly known as Frederick Marx

Rakasu: the boy formerly known as Frederick Marx

Frederick Marx / Warrior Films produces compelling documentary films about solutions to the world’s problems: Everyday people finding ways to overcome oppressive socio-economic barriers. Most known for HOOP DREAMS and transformational stories that transform lives. Though they specialize in stories of the poor, youth, people of color, the dispossessed . . . each story is issue specific. Warrior Films goes worldwide to tell the right story. Their last feature length film, JOURNEY FROM ZANSKAR is set in Zanskar, India. Their recent short film explains the necessity of providing healthy RITES OF PASSAGE for teens to attain mature adulthood. They will soon begin production on a film about returning US combat veterans getting the healing they deserve through VETERANS JOURNEY HOME. Changing the world . . . one story at a time.

Frederick will be a special guest presenter at the MCLA Sacred Path Men's fall retreat on the mountain above Malibu Oct. 19-22. To learn more about Frederick and his work go to WarriorFilms.org.   To register for the fall men's retreat click here: MCLA Fall Retreat Registration.

Frederick will be a special guest presenter at the MCLA Sacred Path Men's fall retreat on the mountain above Malibu Oct. 19-22. To learn more about Frederick and his work go to WarriorFilms.org.   To register for the fall men's retreat click here: MCLA Fall Retreat Registration.

Rod Louden: Safe Parenting On & Off the Field





You're Safe: A Safe Parenting Approach
On & Off the Field

by Rod Louden, MA, MFT, BCPC

You’ve done your job.  You’re on second base.  As you slowly create distance between you and the base, anticipation starts to grow, hoping your teammate will be able to further advance you around the bases.  The pitcher starts his windup. 

As the ball leaves the mound, your focus intensifies.  Your heart starts beating faster. You hear the bat hit the ball and in a millisecond the ball rockets over your head.  You’re now running.  The third base coach is waving you on.  You have to trust your coach’s decision.  You round third, you see the pitcher running toward home plate as well, racing to get behind the catcher in case of an errant throw.  You look at your teammate behind the catcher telling you to slide. 

The catcher, his arm stretched out to the max, squats protecting his turf.  You adjust your course slightly to the right and lunge into a head-first slide.  You hit the ground. The impact causes dirt to fly into the air.  Like the catcher, your left arm can’t be extended any further.  You touch home plate.  You know the catcher tagged you.  But when?  Did you beat the throw?  You look up toward the home plate umpire. 

In what seems like an eternity, you listen and watch for his call. You know it’s going to be close.  And then you see his arms making the safe motion and hear that glorious word, “Safe!”  You hop up and high five teammates as you make your way to the dugout.  Life is good.  You feel great.  And then you hear it.

“Johnny!  Why didn’t you tag him faster?  You just let him score.  I’ve told you a thousand times that you have to protect the plate.  Are you stupid?” 

Johnny slowly lowers his head.  He felt he did everything right.  He did his best.  But, his dad is pissed off. While you are safe, Johnny is not.  He feels shamed.  He feels embarrassed.  He’s defeated.  He fears what his dad may say next.  What should be one of the safest places on Earth is not for Johnny.

All over our great land, scenes like this play out too often.  Sports are supposed to be fun.  Inherent in all sports is a danger of being injured.  But, this should be limited to the field, the court, the ice, etc.  Far too many of our youth are being hurt from the stands.

Children need three things to grow in to healthy, happy, and productive adults.  They need to feel loved, have structure, and feel safe.  If one or more of this essential building blocks is missing, the chances that child will struggle emotionally and behaviorally increase dramatically.  Upon reaching the teenage years, a teen may turn to drugs, alcohol, and other assorted rebellious behavior, as he or she searches for ways to escape the pain of feeling not good enough, a failure, and not having met the expectations of his or her parent(s).


All children need to feel loved, have structure,
and feel safe

As a psychotherapist practicing the art and science of Narrative Therapy, it is our relationship with our own problem(s) that is the problem.  As no one, no parent, is perfect, childhood is often a place where a lot of problematic relationships are formed.  Relationships with low self esteem, fear, depression, anxiety, and guilt, are often created in the developing mind. 

If these relationships continue to be “fed” by adults, these problems can grow and become monstrous.  Instead of a child blooming, a child will wilt. They will learn that being vulnerable, an essential component of creating deep, loving relationships, is bad and needs to be avoided.  Walls will be erected, defenses will go on full alert, and other problematic relationships, such as relationships with anger, shame, hypervigilance and hypersensitivity, just to name a few, may manifest.

One of the hallmarks of youth sports is that inherent in them are positive values and important life lessons.  There are so many teaching moments that arise on a daily basis. Lessons about winning, losing, sportsmanship, honor, integrity, loyalty, decency, fairness, empathy, sacrifice, respect, responsibility, and courage are just some of the many positive human values that are on the field for the taking.  This is why we, as a society, are so interested in sports at all levels and why many parents encourage their children to participate.

I was curious about the current state of mind in regard to kid’s and parent’s mindset in 2017.  So I sat down with Mike Barger, an accomplished athlete having played baseball in his youth, as well as in the army, where he also played football, and then played professional golf.  Mike has been umpiring baseball games, little league, high school, city leagues, charity events, and once umpired the USC /UCLA professional football player’s alumni baseball game, since the 1960’s.

ROD:  Mike, thanks for taking the time to meet with me.

MIKE: No problem. Happy to do so.

ROD:  You have been umpiring for a long time. I am curious, what has changed over the almost 60 years that you have been calling baseball games from behind home plate?

MIKE: Well, not that much. For the most part, parents, coaches, and players remain respectful. But, there are always those players, coaches, and parents that want to argue over balls and strikes. Recently, I had to call time in a game to call the coaches over to have a conference. I let them know that if anyone started to argue about a ball or strike call they would be gone. People can get very emotional. As a parent, coach, or player you want to make sure the you are modeling good sportsmanship.

ROD:  What do you think is the most important thing parents can do in regard to their children’s participation in sports?

MIKE: That’s easy. Encourage them, don’t belittle them. Children need the support of their parent(s). Children need to be cheered on and supported. Your child needs your support. It is not up to your child to support his or her parent(s). That only puts undue pressure on a child. The worst thing a parent can do is to put down his or her child; to make a child feel that he or she is not good enough, failing, or not living up to his or her potential in the eyes of the parent.

ROD:  Have you ever had to throw someone out of a game or out of the stands for being inappropriate?

MIKE: Yes. There have been times where someone comes unglued and I need to get them out of there. I remember one game where a father kept yelling from the stands. The last straw was when he yelled that I was intentionally helping the other team. My response was “you’re gone!” I can only imagine what must have been going on in his child’s mind.

ROD:  Besides encouraging a child, what else can a parent do to make the field a safe place for his or her child?

MIKE: Not all children are going to enjoy playing a sport. Don’t force your child to play a sport that he or she may not be interested in. Work to find out what your child is interested in. It may not be sports, but in doing so, you put yourself in the position of being able to encourage and support your child. Your child may be interested in music or science and have no interest in sports. Forcing your child to play a sport he or she has no interest in will only cause both you and your child a lot of stress and suffering.

ROD:  Thanks for your time Mike.

MIKE: You’re welcome.

Mike made an interesting point in that encouraging children is very important. Within the word encouragement is the word courage. Courage is a not the absence of fear. Courage is going forward to face a challenge even if one is fearful or anxious. Fear is just one of a number of states of mental energy. And, fear, in the right amount, can be used to power courage. Thus, part of encouraging children is to help them face fear or anxiety in order to be able to move forward and to challenge themselves free of the weight that fear and anxiety manifest. The worst thing a parent can do is feed a child’s fear or anxiety by talking down to a child or making him or her fear failing. Instead, talk to your child about how anxiety or fear may be pushing them around.

Ask your child this simple question, “What is fear telling you?” One of my favorite ideas about fear is that fear is a liar. Therefore, help your child see that he or she does not need to listen to fear; that he or she can turn, face fear with courage with you at his or her side, and evaporate it as he or she travels through it. A key is to make sure that your child feels safe enough to talk about what fear or anxiety is saying to him or her. Then you can become his or her ally against fear. Objectify the problematic relationship with fear and anxiety, not the child.

As I stated earlier, making a child feel safe is one of the three pillars of parenting. Children are naturally in a position of low to no power. Their lives are managed by adults in their lives. Parents, coaches, teachers, and other associated adults, are all in a position of power over children.

If parents engage in actions that builds trust, such as being empathetic, assessing without judging, and being patient, a child will feel safe on that foundation of that trust. Being on a platform of trust allows one to enter into a positive state of vulnerability. It is in that vulnerable space that a child will feel safe enough to let down defenses and be far more open to sharing deep personal fears and anxieties, and to being open to hearing and working to connect to what the parent is trying to teach.

In my next segment, I’ll look at the pros and cons of trying to protect a child’s self-esteem at all costs, a movement that arose out of the field of psychology that gained a lot of momentum in the last few decades, and share thoughts on how a parent can navigate this complex issue. Until then, keep encouraging your child and make sure that your child knows that he or she has your love and support.



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Read Rod’s original article courtesy of
Youth Sports Performance Network www.YSPN360.com

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Rod Louden & MCLA Executive Director Dr. Stephen Johnson

ROD LOUDEN, Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, MFT, BCPC
While most therapists limit their interaction with clients solely to the therapeutic hour, Rod applies the Narrative Therapy ideal of post session letter writing. He has written thousands of post session letters to clients. These letters help to keep both the client and therapist focused on the work at hand and create bridges of thought between sessions.


In addition to Narrative Therapy, Rod utilizes Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Marriage Counseling, Couples Counseling, Addiction, Survivors of Childhood Abuse, Problem Solving, Self-Growth, Anxiety, Depression, working with Teens and Relationship Building. In addition, he works with Musicians, Actors, and Artists to break through creative blocks as well as Athletes at all levels for improved performance on and off the field. Rod is a performance coach for YSPN360.com. He is also the author of “Monster Relationships: Taming the Beasts that are Killing Your Relationships" and contributor to "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Vol 3."  Email him at rodlouden@aol.com or visit www.rodlouden.com.

Rod will be a featured presenter at MCLA's Fall Men's Retreat on the mountain above Malibu, October 19-22. Click here to register for the Fall Sacred Path Men's Retreat.

Rod will be a featured presenter at MCLA's Fall Men's Retreat on the mountain above Malibu, October 19-22. Click here to register for the Fall Sacred Path Men's Retreat.

From Stress to Strength . . . through Meditation





From Stress to Strength . . . through Meditation

By Sarah Le
Epoch Times

Just a few years ago, Nicholas Stein had it all—a dream career, a beautiful wife, and good family relationships. He produced a popular action-packed television series for National Geographic called “Border Wars,” where his team was embedded with law enforcement along the U.S.–Mexico border. But there was a dark side.

“Everywhere we went, we saw absolutely horrendous human suffering,” he said at a recent presentation for entrepreneurs with Innovate Pasadena in Pasadena, California.

Stein said the Border Patrol officers faced intensely stressful and violent events, such as drug smuggling and even deaths, on a regular basis. They often rescued large groups of destitute migrants, only to arrest them and deport them soon after. Stein said he was left with symptoms similar to PTSD.

Then the unthinkable happened. National Geographic was bought by 21st Century Fox, and Stein was fired from his job as showrunner. He was re-assigned to teaching his replacement how to do his job.

To make matters worse, his marriage was falling apart. Then the most important person in Stein’s life, his father, passed away. Stein said he was a mess.

“I lost my job in a humiliating, anxiety-ridden way, my wife and I are on the cusp of divorce, and my dad dies. So I’m not good,” he said.

Even Stein’s therapist was causing him further headaches by constantly asking him to check out something called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) over their weekly Skype chats.

“I kept saying, ‘I don’t want to talk about mindfulness. I want to talk about my problems,'” he said.

Finally, out of desperation, he agreed. The results were unexpected.

Transformation Through Mindfulness Meditation

“[It’s] profoundly changing to people,” said Brian Shiers, a mindfulness facilitator certified with UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center. “Your life is going to become a little more clear. You’re going to be seeing it in different ways.”

Stein took an off-campus class in Los Angeles from Shiers to learn how to practice mindfulness, which is essentially “attention training,” said Stein. It’s based on MBSR, a secularized form of Buddhist meditation designed by Jon Kabat-Zinn in the 1970s at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

Nicholas Stein leads a short meditation exercise at Cross Campus in Pasadena, Calif. on Jan. 6. (Sarah Le/Epoch Times)

By quieting the body in a meditative setting, participants quickly see that their mind just doesn’t stop, with distracting thoughts arising one after another. Trying to actively suppress them does not work. The goal is simply to remember to bring one’s focus back to the here and now, an exercise similar to training a muscle.

For many people, the mind is often lost in reliving past memories, agonizing over the future, or trying desperately to shut out painful or uncomfortable realities.

“This is a terrible way to live. You’re not really paying attention to the thing you’re supposed to be paying attention to,” said Stein.

But when you focus on the present moment, “nothing else exists. The past is gone. The future is speculation.”

Through this practice, participants become more in tune and honest with themselves. They eventually learn to regulate their emotional states, which helps to keep them calm and focused in their day-to-day life.

There are also five essential qualities that participants must develop, said Shiers during a recent phone interview.

“We’re also cultivating curiosity, acceptance, non-judgment, kindness, and compassion, so that people are able to tolerate what they notice and see it from different vantage points,” he said.

Without these tools, he said, meditators might hate what they see or experience within themselves, or become re-traumatized. They won’t notice and start to change their own patterns of behavior, and they might even make things worse.

But when a meditator embraces these positive qualities, then the healing begins, almost like magic.

Change Your Mind, Change Your Life

A study published Jan. 24 in the journal Psychiatry Research found that mindfulness meditation training reduced stress hormones and inflammatory responses in anxiety disorder patients following a stressful situation, while patients who took a different training had worsened responses.

Dr. Elizabeth A. Hoge, associate professor in Georgetown University Medical Center’s Department of Psychiatry, said in a press release, “Mindfulness meditation training is a relatively inexpensive and low-stigma treatment approach, and these findings strengthen the case that it can improve resilience to stress.”

Shiers and other researchers have also found that mindfulness meditation actually alters the structure of the brain.

Consistent meditators were shown to have an enhanced prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that regulates the ability to sustain attention, filter information, plan and complete goals, actively solve problems, and manage relationships, which are all affected by emotional regulation.

These meditators also had a smaller amygdala, the part of the brain most directly related to fear, anxiety, aggression, and the fight-or-flight response.

After three or four months of meditating every day, going to UCLA classes, reading, and listening to podcasts, Stein found that he was paying more attention to his wife and his marriage was healing.

“At one point, she just turned to me out of nowhere, and she said, ‘Where’s my husband, and what have you done with him?'” he said. They will soon celebrate their 26th wedding anniversary.

Stein also quit drinking as a kind of experiment, to give himself a better grasp of how the meditation was working, and he said he never looked back. He came to realize that nearly everyone around him was obsessed with drinking, and he was happy to not have to bother with it anymore.

Other people noticed that Stein was more calm, more interested in other people, and had become a better listener.

“I’m a better husband, better uncle, friend, brother, and they all have commented on it.”

Mindfulness on the rocks. MCLA's Sacred Path spring men's retreat kayak/camping trip, Colorado River

Pass it On

Stein decided to become a certified mindfulness teacher himself, partly as motivation to continue his daily practice, which he says is not easy.

“Lots of people start meditating, and then can’t find time for it. Next thing you know, they are as miserable as they were before they started,” he said.

One of the most unique places Stein has taught is inside the Los Angeles County Men’s Central Jail. He and other teachers walked the cell blocks and talked to the inmates behind bars about how meditation could help them cope with the stresses of their ongoing court situations, time away from family, and simply being in jail. Stein said the inmates were almost all appreciative of the simple yet practical techniques.

This is part of Stein’s idea to bring mindfulness to those who need it most, as well as those who make the biggest impact on the public, including prison guards, police officers, public defenders, prosecutors, parole officers, and judges.

Of course, the biggest reason for this focus comes from Stein’s own experiences with the daily trauma experienced by the Border Patrol, ICE agents, and other law enforcement while filming “Border Wars.” Stein has even held a presentation on mindfulness with Border Patrol officers and is now working on a curriculum.

Various law enforcement agencies around the country, professional sports teams, schools, large corporations, and high-profile celebrities such as Hugh Jackman and Emma Watson have all professed to have found benefits from practicing mindfulness in recent years. And the popularity of mindfulness continues to grow.

Stein encourages everyone to try it out, even if it’s just for five minutes a day.

“You will change your life if you stick to this practice,” he said.



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Click here for Nick's recommended
meditation apps, books, organizations & websites

Click here for Sarah's original article on www.EpochTimes.com

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EDITOR'S NOTE: Since this Epoch Times article was first published, Nick has done a number of all-day training sessions with Custom and Border Protection (CBP) personnel in both New Mexico and South Texas. The first one was at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center (FLETC) in Artesia, NM, with CBP Port Officer Chaplains; the 2nd with the leadership of the U.S. Border Patrol Academy. In late June he traveled to McAllen, TX, to train 65 Border Patrol Peer Support Agents, which was followed by a July training in the San Francisco East Bay Area with the Emeryville Police Department. Nick is excited to be facilitating the Men’s Retreat Mindfulness Meditation sessions again and looks forward to being with all the mindful men on the mountain.

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Nicholas Stein is a long-time, respected MCLA member, an award-winning TV producer, keynote speaker, and certified mindfulness facilitator. He conducts sitting meditations for the public at his home in Studio City and will be a featured presenter at MCLA'S Fall Men's Retreat on the mountain above Malibu, October 19-22. Click here to visit Nick's website, www.nicksteinproductions.com





12 Weekend Habits of Highly Successful People

12 Weekend Habits of Highly Successful People

by Emma Rushton

I’ve read countless articles about what successful people do on their weekends. Do you want to know the secret? It’s the same thing that they do every other day. As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Here are 12 weekend habits of highly successful people:

1. Robert Iger: Get up early

This Disney CEO is not the only executive claiming to rise at 4:30 every morning. Successful people do not stay in bed until 2 p.m. on a Sunday. Or even 11 a.m. Research shows that our brains are sharpest two and a half to four hours after waking. Get up early on a weekend and you’ve got a head start on the rest of the world.

2. Benjamin Franklin:
Have a plan

Apparently, this founding father asked himself every morning, “What good shall I do today?” Successful people know the importance of even daily goals — the weekends are no exception. Sure, they can be a time for (planned and purposeful) rejuvenation, but you don’t have to be President to know that general slacking off is not an option.


3. Timothy Ferris:
Don’t multi-task

Multi-tasking is so 2005. It may be tempting to maximize your weekend productivity by running on the treadmill while calling your mother and trolling your newsfeed, but successful people know that this just reduces efficiency and effectiveness. Instead, be present for each single activity. Ferris recommends a maximum of two goals or tasks per day to ensure productivity and accomplishments align.


4. Anna Wintour: Stay active

Vogue’s editor-in-chief commits to playing tennis for one hour every day. And she’s not the only big-shot making time for exercise. Richard Branson stays active with kite surfing and India’s fourth-richest billionaire is a serial marathon runner. Successful people know the importance of an active body for an active mind — weekends included. If nothing else, it will also counteract that glass of wine and cheese platter from Saturday night.

5. Steve Jobs:
Prioritize what’s important

“Things don’t have to change the world to be important.” Weekends are the time to remind yourself of the forgotten little things — to keep your work-life harmony (the new ‘balance’) in check and reset if needed. Spending time with your friends, children or partner might not directly increase profits that day or propel you into the limelight, but that doesn’t make it any less important. Even the current US President famously makes time to sit down for dinner with his family.

6. Warren Buffet: Make time for hobbies

He may be considered the most successful investor of the 20th century, but in his “spare” time Buffett likes to play the ukulele. Successful people are often interesting people — and their hobbies have a lot to do with that. Sure, golfing on Saturdays can be a great way to network and source business opportunities. But, even solo hobbies — knitting like Meryl Streep or oil painting like George W. Bush — can aid success through fostering creativity and relieving stress.

7. Oprah Winfrey: Practice stillness

Forbes’ most powerful celebrity of 2013 still finds time to sit in stillness for 20 minutes — twice a day! This once-best-kept secret of the yogis is now common knowledge. Even the corporate world is acknowledging the benefits of meditation and mindfulness for reducing stress, improving productivity, facilitating creativity and maintaining general well-being. The weekends can often be busier than week days with attempting to cram in chores, exercise, family commitments, social engagements and more into a 48-hour period. The most successful people take daily time out for stillness, weekends included. They don’t call it a meditation “practice” for nothing.

8. Randi Zuckerberg:
Forget FOMO, Embrace JOMO

We’ve all done it — posted a tastefully filtered snap of our weekend antics or checked in on social media to elicit “likes” and envy from our friends/followers (#bragging). Enter, the era of FOMO (fear of missing out). On weekends, we’re even more prone to FOMO. But the founder and CEO of Zuckerberg Media (and, you guessed it, the sister to Facebook’s creator) says people should be focusing on JOMO (the joy of missing out) — the mantra that “there is nowhere I’d rather be than exactly where I am.” Successful people are often competitive, high achievers by nature — practicing an attitude of gratitude and resisting social-media-induced FOMO is key for a happy weekend. And isn’t happiness the real marker of success?

9. Bill Gates:
Take time to reflect

The founder of Microsoft famously said, “It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.” Reflection should be a daily practice but the weekends are a perfect opportunity to step back and reflect on the lessons of the previous week and to make improvements for the next. Author of “The Happiness Project,” Gretchen Rubin, suggests starting a “one sentence journal” to encourage daily reflection. Make Saturday or Sunday your day to flick back through the week’s entries!

10. Richard Branson:
Give back

This billionaire entrepreneur says that “it is amazing how focusing your mind on issues like health, poverty, conservation and climate change can help to re-energize your thinking in other areas.” Successful people agree with Anne Frank: “No one has ever become poor from giving.” Tom Corley studied the rich for five years before writing his book "Rich Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals.” He found that 73% of wealthy people volunteer for five or more hours per month. Nothing helps put things in perspective and reduce stress more than helping those less fortunate. Weekends are a great time to get involved in local and community volunteer events.

11. Jack Dorsey:
Get ready for the rest of the week

The Twitter and Square co-founder is notorious for 16-hour work days from Monday to Friday but says, “Saturday I take off. I hike. And then Sunday is reflections, feedback, strategy and getting ready for the rest of the week.” Forget Sunday blues, let’s call it “Sort-Your-Life-Out Sunday.” Laura Vanderkam, author of “What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekend,” says successful people know that weekends are actually the secret weapon in professional success: “You need to hit Monday ready to go.”

12. Jay Z:
Keep up the momentum

He’s made an empire as a highly successful rap artist and entrepreneur, and the secret is right there in his lyrics: “You can want success all you want, but to get it, you can’t falter. You can’t slip. You can’t sleep. One eye open, for real, and forever.” (Decoded) Jay Z didn’t become worth $520 million by only wanting it five out of seven days of the week. If you want to eventually spend your weekends on a luxury yacht in the Caribbean with Beyoncé, unrelenting grit and persistence might just get you there. Well, we can always dream, right?


It’s settled then. Success is a 24/7 lifestyle choice — weekends included!



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Read Emma's original article on www.LifeHack.org

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EMMA RUSHTON is a lawyer, traveler and blogger in Melbourne, Australia. She writes about having "a life with a view" - where wanderlust and a desire for professional success are not mutually exclusive. She spends her free time writing about Roots & Wings and travelling to new countries as often as her bank balance and boss will allow.  Visit her website www.Roots&Wings.co, or follow Emma on Twitter.




7 Ways to Help Yourself (and Others) Be Successful

7 Ways to Help Yourself
(and Others) Be Successful

We’re better working together.


1. Give back.

There is an astute knowingness in understanding that we all have a limited perspective or lens. I have one, you have one and everyone who walks this earth has a limited perspective. And for a great many years, we as a collective have convinced ourselves that our differences are a hindrance, when in reality our differences are the very thing that makes each of us uniquely talented in ways other people are not. When we honor these differences and celebrate them for their uniqueness, we open up an entirely new kaleidoscope of possibilities we might not otherwise be able to see.

If everyone asked, “How can I help?” as opposed to “What can I get?” we would start to see a much different world take shape around us.

The universe aligns its bounty for a generous heart. We must take that first step toward serving the greater good. This is the greatest act of service we can offer. When we elevate one, we elevate all, and soon all of our common interests are met. Only then can we begin to transform the world. It is only then the better world we dream of becomes a reality.

It’s up to us to offer a helping hand to those struggling to climb the ladder. We stand on each other’s shoulders to elevate us to our ultimate accomplishments. This is a testament to a new tomorrow. We must clasp each other’s hands and take that first step together. It’s a step that every person, organization or institution can take together—if only we change our lens from competition to cooperation. From receiving to giving.







2. Surround yourself with people smarter than you.

Regardless of all your hard work, unique talent, good timing or good luck, success is largely a factor of the people you make a part of your journey.

When you first start, you pursue like-minded people in your social circle. But things change. You mature. Your circle widens as your interests shift from social to professional. Although you are initially drawn to people like yourself, now you start to gravitate to people who can offer alternative perspectives—the more unrelated and diverse the individuals, the more opportunity to fill in the gaps of your limited experience, which lowers your risk.

You must network, pay attention and seek out people who not only know more but are willing to challenge and push you. Because few things are as important as gaining new perspectives. It’s easy to get lost in your ideas. Alternate perspectives can eliminate the blind spots and bring you down from the clouds.

3. Find a mentor.

Mentorship is a service. How can you help this person? You need to care more about their goals than you care about your own. Actually, your number one goal is to help them with their goals.

Under promise and over perform. When you get an assignment, blow them away. Do more than expected. Make their life as easy as possible. Get them excited to work with you more.

Never stop seeking help from those who are where you want to be. At the same time, don’t neglect those who could use your help.

Never let a goal become more important than helping people. Help others generously, abundantly. Help others without expectation of a return favor. Serving others will turn you into a mentor yourself. And you will always find more joy in helping others succeed than in achieving your own success.

4. Be an influencer.

Influencers focus on helping one another without expecting anything in return. They give and balance with their own self-interests to make giving a win-win for all parties. Adam Grant, author of the best-selling book Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Your Success, told me that “givers are not just philanthropists or volunteers… but people who enjoy helping others and often do it with no strings attached.” Grant explains that givers have the greatest opportunity to both succeed and fail in business because givers can often be taken advantage of, but the most successful givers thrive when they have their own self-interests aligned with giving.

5. Celebrate others’ success.

What does it mean to be just as happy for the success of others as for our own? It’s a matter of attitude. Adopting a praising and loving attitude will help you bask in the success of those you know and with whom you feel a personal connection. This might be difficult at times, but it’s a great way to help us lead more positive lives and get more in return.

By being courageous and selfless enough to embrace others’ success, we get the benefit of greater satisfaction. We feel fulfilled instead of bitter. For example, your best friend gets a job offer at a great company and you don’t know how to feel. You might feel happy but conflicted, especially if you feel less successful at the moment. But having the courage to celebrate your friend’s success as your own can lead to personal satisfaction when you think, OK, I now know someone who works at X company! Your inner circle of affiliations and acquaintances grows, and you can feel appropriately satisfied by that.

Not only does your inner circle of affiliations grow with others’ success, but you can also potentially find personal success. For example, say your best friend’s company is advertising for other positions. Now you have an internal referral that might benefit your own career should you desire working with the same company.

Beyond seizing an available opportunity where possible, our sense of embracing others’ achievements helps to expand our own willpower. American football player and coach Vince Lombardi said, “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, nor a lack of knowledge, but a lack of will.” Our own will can be awakened, in turn, when we see the success of others.

6. Spread positivity.

In director Christopher Nolan’s film Inception, Leonardo DiCaprio plays a man named Cobb who uses futuristic military technology to steal people’s corporate secrets by digging into their subconscious while they sleep. Then a secretive entrepreneur named Saito hires Cobb to do something a little different: plant an idea—inception—instead of stealing one.

For inception to be successful, the idea that Cobb plants has to be simple, emotional and positive. As he explains to his team, “The subconscious is motivated by emotion, right? Not reason. We need to find a way to translate this into an emotional concept…. Positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time.” For Cobb, positive realities are much easier to transfer to others than negative ones because they create lasting change.

Out of the fantasy world and into the world of neuroscience and positive psychology, the research supports Cobb’s claim. Over the past several years, researchers have been investigating how perceptions and mindsets can be transferred to others. And as it turns out, the three best strategies for transferring positive genius to others are not that different from the ones Cobb employed. (See what they are here.)

7. Find your motivation.

Successful people don’t become that way overnight. What most people see at a glance—happiness, wealth, a great career, purpose—is the result of hard work and hustle over time.

To be successful, you have to use each day as an opportunity to improve, to be better, to get a little bit closer to your goals. It might sound like a lot of work—and with a busy schedule, next to impossible. But the best part is, the more you accomplish, the more you’ll want to do, the higher you’ll want to reach. So as long as you have the hunger for success, you will always have the power within you to achieve it.

Use your ambition, drive and desire to make it happen.




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Click here to read the original article at www.success.com


SUCCESS MAGAZINE: Unlike any other time in human history, people need to continually keep up with expanding knowledge and perpetually develop new skills to stay relevant and sustain their lifestyles. SUCCESS magazine strives to deliver the thought leaders and success experts, both past and present, and reveal their key ideas and strategies to help you excel in every area of your personal and professional life. You also will be provided a unique window into the lives, practices and philosophies of today’s greatest achievers—top CEOs, revolutionary entrepreneurs and other extraordinary leaders. Click here to visit www.Success.com